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Desperate for help please...

NAS23717
over 6 years ago

My daughter is 17 and has ADD and Aspergers. She goes to college and only has 1 actual friend from college that she sees now and again. She has a lot of friends she knows from school and college on social media but that's as close as she'll get. The trouble is, we live on an army camp and there aren't many children her age around and she's befriended a 14 year old girl.  I don't have any issues with this young girl but we would prefer for my daughter to hang around children her own age.  We understand this isn't as simple especially with autism. So we've been bit relaxed about it but unfortunately it's got out of hand. My daughter spends most of her time awake either communicating with this girl via internet or out hanging around with her.  This isn't a healthy obsession and we've tried to talk to her and explain this and ask her to cut down the time she spends online with her.  Nothing has worked and it just seems to be getting worse.  Please can anyone give us some advice. Thank you. 

Parents
  • over 6 years ago

    She may struggle to get on with people her own age and she actually might be seen as actually achieving something by making a relationship that lasts for more that 5 minutes.

    Is she actually obsessed? Is it actually unhealthy? Is there anything untoward going on? Is it possibly innocent and childlike? Autistic people can be slow to mature and develop adult attitudes and behaviours and she may just be demonstrating that to you. Perhaps she needs help and guidance more than anything else?

    This shouldn't be about you and your preferences but instead it should be about how she can achieve what she can achieve rather than how she might be seen to disappoint your expectations.

  • over 6 years ago in reply to recombinantsocks

    Socks has said in a few words what I probably said in too many.  He gets right to the point, really.  Exactly my thoughts.  Humans are 'supposed' to be social animals, so any behaviour that strays from that norm automatically becomes a cause for concern.  It's why much more discussion, openness and understanding is needed.  Many people on the spectrum must feel like homosexuals felt in, say, the '50s.  Scared to 'come out' for fear of repercussions.   This does untold damage.

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  • over 6 years ago in reply to recombinantsocks

    Socks has said in a few words what I probably said in too many.  He gets right to the point, really.  Exactly my thoughts.  Humans are 'supposed' to be social animals, so any behaviour that strays from that norm automatically becomes a cause for concern.  It's why much more discussion, openness and understanding is needed.  Many people on the spectrum must feel like homosexuals felt in, say, the '50s.  Scared to 'come out' for fear of repercussions.   This does untold damage.

Children