Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I am new here.
I have a 5 year old son and I am a single parent.
My son has not yet been diagnosed with Autism but I am looking for advice, I have researched Autism fully including videos and reading numbourous blogs.
But I am at an end, I suffer from Bipolar myself and I am struggling with getting a diagnosis and dealing with my sons everyday behaviour.
All his problems started when he was 2 years old, his speech was delayed until he was 4 years old, he was in nappies until he was 4, Hes always struggled with making friends and has always been high risk for risking things - jumping off things at ridiculas heights, running into roads, he has and still has issues with reconising safety.
He also used to get so angry and stressed with himself he would hit himself in the face, smack his head on the back of his car seat, scratch his face - it was upsetting to watch him do this.
Now hes at a new school who has lots of help for children with special needs, but he cannot write, read or colour, he cannot even process how to hold a pen correctly, they have just said that his speech is amazing and his memory for remembering logos and words but his knowledge of how to use these words and what they mean is missing.
It just upsets me that I cant do anything to help him, he cant even ride a bike or scooter to do anything that any normal child can because he just doesnt understand it.
I waited 2 years to see CAHMS, many times in the last 4 years social services have been involved because I cannot cope, he cries for hours and hours, he gets confused and I dont know what he wants, even if i hug him it doesnt help.
Social services everytime have said they cant help us only CAHMS can... A month ago we had an assessment with them, the whole time they asked me questions about my son who was in the room!! They did no assesssment on him just asked me a million questions about MY past and MY mental health, I was so angry this was ment to be about my son, I started crying and shouted at her becasue she said they dont diagnose children until they are 10 now and they are very reluctant to pyut a label on this.
They just said he had been through a tramatic past due to my mental illness which isnt true he has been spolied and loved more than anything.
Im just so scared because hes moving up to year one in sept and he cant do anything, even sitting on a carpet and following directions is hard, hes able to understand only 1 worded questions and 1 worded anwswers so etc. when his teacher asks what he wants for Mains at school. ie. Chilli, chicken or spagetti he will always pick the first one everytime even though that may not be the one he wants, he is only processing that 1 item and cannot process the rest and a way I normally do it is by showing him pictures.
I am just at my end as a parent I feel like no one appart from his school are helping me, between 7pm and 12pm bedtimes are upsetting and I cant cope, The last week I didnt once have a bath myself because I couldnt!
So I spent everyday going to college stinking and having to use dry hair shampoo to get rid of my greessy hair!
Im just finding it so hard, Im hoping I have found the right place by being on here and im hoping that anypone who can share any stories of what simillarties they have and solutions can help me..
Thanks
Rebecca
Oh! I've noticed the dates on some replies, didn't think of checking the date on the actual post :D thanks!
A really lovely reply, but the thread is over 9 years old - always worth checking the date stamps :)
Hi, SEND Learning support assistant here!
Please, share your observations and tricks with the school/class teacher, they are soooo helpful! Some parents email EVERYDAY to tell class team about kids' afternoons and mornings so we can act accordingly during school time and staff can do the same to help you. Work closely with your class team, your good relationship with them will help you and your son tremendously.
If you noticed that showing your son pictures to pick dinner works best, it can be easily replicated in school- with time, when your son's ability to process improves this way can be then adapted accordingly.
Inform the class teacher that you struggle with bed times as well, they may help you with creating routine that will work for him. I would personally try creating a time table (with pictures) and put it in a visible place, so your son knows what should happen and when. Strong routine creates a feeling of safety and helps with transitions.
I know it is only a small chunk of your problems, but I think even a small step forward is always a step forward.
I hope that you will push through the system and you get the support you need.
Remember to take care of yourself in the meantime, you are important too!
All the best to you and your son!
Yoga can be super beneficial for people with autism. It's a great way to help with relaxation, focus, and social skills. I've seen it work wonders firsthand. My friend's child, who has autism, started doing yoga a few years ago, and the change has been incredible.
Hi Rebecca
Have you ever considered that you yourself could be on the spectrum? Hope that doesn't sound like I'm trying to make things more stressful. I just know that many Aspies prior to being finally assessed as being autistic were previously wrongly diagnosed with various conditions especially BiPolar Disorder. I think some Aspies also are BiPolar ie have a dual diagnosis. My mother was wrongly diagnosed (I'm certain!) with BiPolar Disorder when she was in her early 30's and it was so obvious to me after getting my diagnosis for Aspergers at the age of 45 that I was very similar to my mum in all the difficulties I have had in life. The older I become the more similar still to the way my mum was and the problems she had. After my mum died in 2010 I spoke to her GP as we were complaining about treatment she had which he shouldn't have given her (ibuprophen when she had Ulcerative colitis) I suggested that my mother had been wrongly diagnosed as BiPolar and probably had Asperger Syndrome. He thought this was quite likely true.
Hi WeAre Lost,
I'm sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time at the moment. In terms of your mental health, make sure you see a GP or call 111 if out of hours if you are struggling to cope. Our website also has a services directory where you can find counselling services available in your area http://www.autism.org.uk/living-with-autism/strategies-and-approaches/counselling.aspx and http://www.autism.org.uk/our-services/advice-and-information-services/information-and-research-services/the-autism-services-directory.aspx In terms of problems with getting a diagnosis for your son, it may be helpful to look at aour website http://www.autism.org.uk/about-autism/all-about-diagnosis/diagnosis-the-process-for-children.aspx
I hope this helps you but if not please feel free to let us know
Hi,
Welcome to the forum. I hope you get some help here as it sounds as though you are having big problems. A number of posters on the forum have experience of bipolar and other mental issues so I think you will find sympathy and understanding.
It is simply wrong to say that children aren't diagnosed with autism before 10. There are lots of cases on the forum where parents have got diagnoses at the same age as your son.
Do you think you might be affected by autistic spectrum problems yourself? Sometimes people get diagnosed with bipolar (or other mental issues) when the underlying problem is autistic spectrum condition.
Have you called the NAS helpline? They might be able to talk you through some of your problems and point you in the right direction.
Mind is the other group that may be able to help. They have helplines that are staffed during office hours as well as crisis lines for out of hours help.
If you are not getting the help you need in spite of what you say then the system is broken, keep all correspondence from school and appointments with medical professionals. Put in writing that you think your son may have Autism [KEEP A COPY]
give one to your GP one to School and one to CAHMS. If you can go to appointments with somebody to verify what you are saying and the concerns you have then you have a witness to your concerns. Dont give up and take care.