Published on 12, July, 2020
My nephew who is 14 has Adha, and conduct disorder and possibly ASD. My nephews younger sibling who is 4yrs old, is displaying the same behavioural patterns as my nephew. However, in my opinion the 4yr old seems to be far worse in his behaviour. My nephew at that age was not as bad in his behaviour. I have taken a lot of notice of the 4yr olds behaviour pattern. How i mean by bad behaviour, is the 4yr old has a younger sibiling 3yrs old. What is concerning is how the 4yr old constantly hits the 3yr old. Really hurting him. What really alarms me the 4yr old has tried to pull the 3yr olds private parts off, The 4yr old will take everthing the 3yr old has eg. food, drinks,toys. The 4yr old with put items of the 3yrs old into the rubbish bin. The poor 3yr old has no say. He is hit kicked pushed,nipped. Always has black eyes. lumps on his head, bust lips. ect. The 4yr old also bullies, hits, kicks, other children in school. Teachers are very concerned. And i agree. Something is wrong with the 4yr old. His behaviour is a cause for concern. Need some helpful advice
Seek diagnosis.
kez2476 said:You know when something is not right with your child. And we as a family know something is just not right with the 4yr old....We know something is wrong with the 4yr old.
You know when something is not right with your child. And we as a family know something is just not right with the 4yr old....We know something is wrong with the 4yr old.
I feel the need to take exception on the childs behalf. He is exactly as his genetics and experiences have made him and can be expected to take no responsibility for either genetic predisposition or the experiences of infancy both of which are matters of parental reponsablilty. There is nothing "wrong" with the child. The problem lies in the interaction between child and enviroment (to the AS child, people are enviromental factors and subject to generalisation.)
It seems likely that he is "paying it forward." If parental authority is power based, more on this here, or if he has been, probably covertly, subjected to such treatment by the older brother or children at school, then he probably considers his behavour perfectly normal. It is quite likely that his peers at least partially misrepresent the conflict at school. I remember children punching, kicking and pinching me with impunity, then running to the teacher when I responded in kind denying that "they started it" and demanding punative measures. This is such an effective method of bullying (because it co-opts the teachers authority) that it quickly becomes systemic. The teacher thus percieves the AS child as a troublemaker because of the volume of similar allegations from the NT majority.
The other possible motivating factor to the violence is communication difficulty. If he is unable to reach an minimally acceptable compromise with others without violence then what other recource do you expect him to percieve? Teach him some negotiating skills. More on violence as a result of communication failure