Published on 12, July, 2020
Evening,
I have recently been diagnosed at the age of 46 and I'm starting to try and understand more about me. After I got my diagnosis I was in 2 minds whether to say anything at work as I didn't want colleagues to look at me differently as I already struggle to fit it. I don't always get there jokes or there facial mannerisms or whether they are being serious or joking. I have always been the butt of other peoples jokes. I decided to tell the depot manger as a couple of things happened that I couldn't understand what the issue was.
The reason for the post is I'm struggling as they are changing my route (I'm a HGV Delivery driver). When I informed my manager about my ASD she didn't know anything about it, so I explained a couple of the things that I struggle with at work, the main one being a change of routine or in works case a change of route. When I had my meeting of Friday she outlined the changes and I'm now struggling to get my head around it and it's stressing me out, the worst thing is she has now gone on holiday for two and a half weeks so if I have questions I can't ask them. She has listened as she doesn't intend to change the route for around a month so I have time can get my head around it. I have so many worries over it I'm now struggling to sleep as my head is going around in circles. I do understand the reason for it but for the past year I have had the same route going to the same 2 places Monday to Friday. Now I'm going to be doing the same places each week but I'm going to have different places each day. I know I can drive the vehicle but I'm stressing as 1 of the jobs is in the centre of London and I will have to use the tail lift which I haven't had good experience with in the past. It also hasn't helped that the other driver I spoke to who is more confident than me said it's a nightmare. My manger says she wants to work with me and give me the support I need to be able to change routes but part of me thinks she's just saying that to get me to agree. The new routes are also a reduction in hours which would be nice but I can't afford to lose the money so she is looking at the hours but that will mean more new places and that wouldn't be the same each week.
Sorry to go on I just need to get it off my chest as I'm not coping and she's not around to talk to. I don't want to sound awkward and I don't want to lose my job but I just don't know how to get her to understand how much change affects me.
Hi Shazza, you are definitely not alone with struggling with changes at work. Similar to you I lose sleep because of worrying about changes which in turn leads to anxiety and exhaustion.
The best advice I can give you is to think of potential solutions to raise with your manager. I'm not sure if this is a possibility in your line of work but could you swap routes with another driver?
Is your manager's manager available to speak to about how this is making you feel and the loss in money due to the new route?
Is there an option to 'buddy' with someone or get further training on how to successfully use a tail lift?
I hope these suggestions help. Keep us updated and hopefully you will find some kind of solution that works best for you.
Thank you for your reply and your suggestions, I’m trying to come up with questions for when she gets back. She is the only one that’s knows about the routes and changes. She is going to help with the new route but only the one into London. I just struggle getting the delivery onto the tail lift I’m always worried I will fall off (I have had to jump off the tail lift at full height at another job as I couldn’t stop the pallet). I also have a couple of medical problems (arthritis in both knees and I’m waiting for a thumb joint replacement) but don’t want to mention them as again I don’t want to lose my job as they could say if I can’t do the job then find something else. It’s also going over in my head why can’t the bloke she is giving half my run too not do what’s she’s giving me to do but I guess there are reason that my brain can’t understand. It’s lovely that she took on board what I have said but she also said that to her it was only small changes and I wouldn’t lose too many hours but 6 hours a week is a lot to me. She also said she wanted to work with me as she didn’t want to lose my but again I came out thinking is she just saying that because it’s easier to keep me than have to try and find another driver if I leave.
Again sorry for going on I do talk to my best friend about things as she has had experience with autistic children (she’s a primary school teacher) but I still think she doesn’t always get it.
thanks again for your reply.
Hi I am sorry to hear about your difficulties at work. I too have a later in life diagnosis, in my early fifties, and have not been able to work in my post for over a year. My manager is not being supportive and has so far refused many of my suggestions even though these are detailed in my diagnosis confirmation letter and access to work report. It does not help when one of my managers upon disclosing my ASD pre-diagnosis told me that as it is a long term condition that I should be well aware of where I would need adjustments. Considering it took me a long time to process my diagnosis and actually stop masking to work out why in certain situations the way I felt was due to my autism. I had masked all my life and it was like peeling back the layers of an onion when taking off my many masks. I still don't think I have completely been able too.
Remember you are covered as disabled in terms of the equality act 2010 and are entitled to reasonable adjustments. However what you think of as reasonable may not be viewed as such by your managers.
The above advice is sound in that try to come up with solutions to propose and put everything in writing!!! If you haven't already look up the equality act and get the EHRC statutory guidance from their website.
Remember you are not alone.
That is exactly how I felt and still do to some extent. But you have to stick up for yourself because only you will come to know what your disadvantages are regarding your employment. Remember get everything in writing. It is easier to use as evidence. Better to be prepared and cover your back.
Shazza said:I still don’t understand what affects me and I don’t like saying I just agree and do what I’ve been told.