Evening,
I have recently been diagnosed at the age of 46 and I'm starting to try and understand more about me. After I got my diagnosis I was in 2 minds whether to say anything at work as I didn't want colleagues to look at me differently as I already struggle to fit it. I don't always get there jokes or there facial mannerisms or whether they are being serious or joking. I have always been the butt of other peoples jokes. I decided to tell the depot manger as a couple of things happened that I couldn't understand what the issue was.
The reason for the post is I'm struggling as they are changing my route (I'm a HGV Delivery driver). When I informed my manager about my ASD she didn't know anything about it, so I explained a couple of the things that I struggle with at work, the main one being a change of routine or in works case a change of route. When I had my meeting of Friday she outlined the changes and I'm now struggling to get my head around it and it's stressing me out, the worst thing is she has now gone on holiday for two and a half weeks so if I have questions I can't ask them. She has listened as she doesn't intend to change the route for around a month so I have time can get my head around it. I have so many worries over it I'm now struggling to sleep as my head is going around in circles. I do understand the reason for it but for the past year I have had the same route going to the same 2 places Monday to Friday. Now I'm going to be doing the same places each week but I'm going to have different places each day. I know I can drive the vehicle but I'm stressing as 1 of the jobs is in the centre of London and I will have to use the tail lift which I haven't had good experience with in the past. It also hasn't helped that the other driver I spoke to who is more confident than me said it's a nightmare. My manger says she wants to work with me and give me the support I need to be able to change routes but part of me thinks she's just saying that to get me to agree. The new routes are also a reduction in hours which would be nice but I can't afford to lose the money so she is looking at the hours but that will mean more new places and that wouldn't be the same each week.
Sorry to go on I just need to get it off my chest as I'm not coping and she's not around to talk to. I don't want to sound awkward and I don't want to lose my job but I just don't know how to get her to understand how much change affects me.