Published on 12, July, 2020
I get dysregulated every single morning as soon as I wake.
The first 2hrs of the day I have to be really careful or the tiniest thing throws me into meltdown because I start dysregulated.
Factors I know are involved:
Sleeping badly (nightmares, sweats, a lot of snoring and coughing, waking at least 3x a night) -recently started melatonin
Waking up in pain (back, neck, shoulders, legs, feet, hands) due to 'chronic pain' with no identifed cause
Waking up needing but being unable to poo cos I've eaten poorly again
External sounds (eg being woken by neighbors slamming doors or their kids playing ball outside before 8am)
General life stresses that I don't know what to do to resolve/improve
Having been social the day before
I have moved into the back bedroom to reduce neighborhood sounds and I've realized I'm also better in a more confined space, the new bedroom is smaller. This has also helped me start going to bed before between 11 and midnight as opposed to 2am. I guess I didn't like my old room!
I'm trialling going downstairs making tea and going back to bed in the morning but I'm so not with it just dropping the teaspoon is enough to fly into meltdown.
2hrs later it feels like a switch is flicked in my head and I'm suddenly "reasonable" again.
Does anyone else experience dysregulation instantly on waking? Have you found solutions or things that help? Can we get into cycles and get stuck in then because it's a routine and we know how how brains like routine?
Distract me folks. What do you all think?
(Written 1hr into the dysregulation zone please be kind)
This used to happen to me every weekday morning when I worked in an office. Having to get up before my body clock would naturally wake me, using public transport, and then walking into an open-plan office full of 'friendly' people used to nearly send me round the bend- if my journey went even slightly wrong I'd be ready to snap.
Nowadays I start my day about an hour later as I work from home. I walk my dog, then I make breakfast for him and for myself, and then once I'm fed and hydrated I can get on with my day. I do still struggle if I've slept badly or I'm having a chronic illness flare, but it's a lot easier to get back on track the next day instead of spiralling now I'm able to attend to my needs properly (food, drink, natural light, gentle exercise).
Thank you for replying. At the moment I feel completely unable to get into a healthy cycle. It's 6.30am and I've been awake for an hour in pain despite going to bed at 11. I'm so tired of being tired. Part of my trouble is I firmly believe I don't deserve to be better. I think I am being punished for being a terrible person and that everything is my fault.