Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello - I have a teenage daughter newly diagnosed with ASC. She currently is not comfortable with being neuro diverse and does not accept it, but this was long journey to try to the find the cause of many symptoms, including anorexia, OCD and self harm, as well as depression. She is currently in a better place, but is suffering daily moments of anxiety while at school, which often come without warning. They do not seem to follow a pattern except for being morning for a while and now afternoon based, but they make her throat feel very restricted, then feel very nauseous which leads her to start to panic. She sometimes needs to leave the lessons but can sometimes work through it, but it's exhausting. The school are supportive but wondering what help we have in place. We have had years of psychiatrist, psychologist, CBT and at the moment she sees an art therapist weekly. We were given an option for medication at one point but have put that off for now. She is sceptical about CBT style tools for anxiety management - personally, I'm so proud of her every day, watching her feel these overwhelming emotions that are so hard to manage and still getting herself to school every day, even if she does miss some lessons sometimes - but I've just received two messages form the school pastoral care team and nurse asking what we have in place to support her, and I'm feeling a bit lost to know what else we can do. I would really appreciate any advice anyone can give. Has anyone here experienced this kind of anxiety that's so physical to manage? Do you have any tips to help deal with it? I know that having a break from school from time to time helps, to rest and recover. Any advice will be greatly received! Thank you, N
She might find watching Christine McGuinness's documentary, 'Unmasking My Autism' helpful, if you can get it on i-player or something, it was on the BBC some time ago. It was the first time I felt represented on TV, whilst I don't share everything there was so much I did. I wonder if seeing an outwardly beautiful and successful woman talk about her autism and the experts she interviews will give her some insight and a feeling of acceptance and that there is life after diagnosis? I think all autistic people but especially women and girls should watch this, because it says it like it is and from the viewpoint of an autistic person rather than someone talking about us.
I relate to that too! I don’t know how to change it. I just avoid talking much to NT people about personal stuff. I get much better understanding with ND people. They are also in many ways “odd” like me, so if we both over share to each other, then I don’t stress so much that I seem weird to them. My colleague at work has ADHD and BPD. Although he is doing much better in communication and social interactions than me, we both happily over share many things to each other and I could say we have some few things in common. I’m not sure if my coping strategy with the problem is good, but for me kinda working
I sometimes also get similar symptoms in class - this is what I’ve found that works for me
Stress ball - gives me a way to stim subtly & try and regulate emotions
ear plugs - I’m hypersensitive to sound, so these are really useful for me to stop getting to a point where I can’t deal with the environment (I have loop earplugs for reference)
i also have a notebook with me everywhere I go - I use it doodle in, but I also find it just is comforting to have it with me
Thank you so much for your reply Starfox I really appreciate it. This sounds so similar - I think you're right, giving her more scientific reasons for the body response to anxiety will be helpful. Her school is great but they are also wondering what more we can do to help - she can exit lessons by saying she needs the toilet and they have an on call system where she's met outside and taken to the library to calm herself and have space. The fear of something happening in front of other people is a big thing, that really resonates, she has mentioned that a lot - and the tiredness this all causes. She also sees an art therapist once week - sometimes words just get too much, they're just everywhere and become overwhelming, and trying to explain herself is overwhelming, so the art therapy has been really helpful.
That was really such a brilliant response, I will definitely look into the physical reasons for the panic and lay out the facts for her. And your journey sounds very similar to my daughter, I I really feel for you, it must have been a confusing and frightening time and I thank you for sharing it here to help me support her. Wishing you all the best, N
This sounds very much like my teenage experience (I am now 31 and only this year diagnosed Autistic) but I also suffered with Anorexia, Self Harm, Depression, Panic Attacks and a lot of those 'fun' things during my teenage years (and a bit beyond). I did see therapists for this at the time, and was also medicated, though had some side effects from that and cannot quantify how much they helped overall with the panic episodes. Something that did help a bit with my panic attacks, was that one of my fears with them was that I was going to pass out (in front of people, making it even worse and drawing more attention to myself). If your daughter has a quiet place that she can go to when feeling panicky or overwhelmed that takes the 'eyes' off of her, that might help (and understanding from the school, so they know she isn't just walking out of a class - maybe a card system so she can indicate the reason for leaving). I found it helpful to know a lot about panic attacks, the reasons they happened, biologically what was going on, so even though I felt out of control, I knew that my brain thought there was a good reason to give me additional adrenaline and 'horrible' physical sensations, as it thought it was keeping me out of danger. I was also told that you cannot pass out from a panic attack (as your blood pressure is actually high) which did help me logically know that my 'fainting in the middle of everyone' fear was unlikely. Has your daughter mentioned things which help her when she is feeling panicky? Having someone come and talk to her? Listening to music? I found laying on the floor, feet up, stomach breathing, sometimes with a sugarfree sweet to suck on and focus on the flavour and the feelings outside of me, rather than the physical sensations that feel so overwhelming? Sorry, I realise I went on a bit. I hope something I said might help, do feel free to message if you have any questions or anything I didn't explain well. I hope she can manage to find a way of dealing with it, you seem very supportive which is great!
There is research which inextricably links contraception use with increased anxiety in young women and girls.
Thank you so much - I will look now, much appreciated! N
Hello NAS82625,
Hopefully the members of this forum will have very good tips for you to help your daughter handle anxiety. If you type the word 'anxiety' in the search box on the NAS website, you'll find many interesting articles about it. There is one called 'Anxiety and Autism in the Classroom' which might be of help. Here is the link: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/anxiety-classroom
All the best,
Karin Mod