Published on 12, July, 2020
Cannabis... Some do, some don't... I used to, but am really quite pleased with myself! Attempt 1.3m is now my longest period of cessation in about 3 or 4 years. Just a reminder... don't limit your resolve to NYE, you can make changes anytime. But make them for the right reason! :-)
I'm very pleased to say that I am now about 5 months free from cannabis. It was really difficult to quit and I tried a few times before and couldn't manage it. I don't know what was different about this time, I just had much more resolve because I realised how much it was affecting my life and how nothing would change if I didn't quit. There came a point after about a month sober when I realised that was it, and I wouldn't go back.
I got pretty bad withdrawals for about 3 weeks including really bad abdominal pains and stomach upsets, night sweats, and really bad insomnia (almost didn't sleep at all for a week). It took about 2 months for my dopamine system to return to baseline so that things felt good again, and then I finally had some motivation to do things. Previously I required weed in order to have an appetite or enjoy something such as watching a TV show, so without it I had a depressing couple of months where nothing felt good.
Cannabis is one of those things which was really beneficial to me, but over time became more of a curse. I was dependent on it and trapped by it. The big benefit for me was as a sufferer of insomnia for my entire life, weed was the only thing that allowed me to fall asleep easily. But then it was impossible to quit because I got even worse rebound insomnia.
Secondly it was a good escape... too good. It made me not care about anything. It made me content to be bored. I did nothing except get high. If anything ever upset me slightly or I got sensory overload or couldn't cope with things... I would just get high and everything would be good. It made me more laid back instead of getting bothered by every noise and smell around me, I could relax.
I would either get high every day (specifically on the strongest skunk), or I would try to moderate, in which case my life was just waiting for the next time I could get high. I preferred getting high to doing anything else.
I probably will have it again at some point, but it definitely won't be until I have sorted out my living situation. It has been a huge effort to organise selling my house and buying another one. I'm in way over my head, but I think there is no way I would have got as far as I have if I was still getting high. So I absolutely forbid myself to have any until I have moved.
I want it to be a treat that I have occasionally instead of something I need, but I don't know if that is possible. So it might be a bad idea to ever have it again.
Your reply strikes at the core of my dissatisfaction with "weed" as it is nowadays. In the eighties when I started and up until 2011 I used to smoke hashish. I found that whilst I could lapse into similar behaviour to that which you describe, it was optional. The new minimum 15% THC and none heat "annealed" raw green stuff is a completely different and less pleasant (if you ask me) deal.
Sadly, hashish has become quite rare these days. I only get to smoke it either when someone buys me a bit off the darkweb, or if someone gives my their surplus greenery and I make a bit myself.