Published on 12, July, 2020
I have started my second year at a small university. I didn't make any friends last year and now I am spending all my time on my own and I am feeling really bad about this. There are no clubs that do anything that I would be interested so I am spending all my time doing things on my own which is making me feel really down.
I have not had any friends in years and I used to feel ok about this but recently this has made me feel really down however I feel really anxious in social situations and I do not know how to start to make friends or even start to chat to people so I feel traped in a cycle.
I'm afraid that you will have to become proactive; waiting for someone to approach you is not working and probably will not in the future. My autistic daughter changed universities and though it is her second year, it is her first year at a new place. She joined a couple of societies including fencing, which she had no experience of before, and has been out on pub quiz eveninigs and suchlike social events with the people in the societies. Union societies are a good entry into social groups and you may have to move out of your comfort zone - which while comfortable, appears to be rather too sterile for you - and try someting new.
When I went to university, I went to a societies fayre, not being sporty I avoided the stalls for the sport clubs. Then I saw a stall for a club for people who aren't good at doing things, so I joined. At the end of the academic year, I realised that I hadn't had much for my subscription as they either weren't very good at organising events or they weren't very good at informing people about the events that they put on.
How bizarre, I'm not sure what to say! Yes, probably it was just to get the funds and CV benefits?
This was back in 1994, I can't remember what the club was called but it was something along these lines. I think that maybe if a club had above a certain number of members it would get funds from the university. It is useful for a curriculum vitae to have run a club, organised events etc while in full time education.
A club for people who aren't good at doing things? Is that what it was called? Never heard of that before.