6year old diagnosed, advice much appreciated

Well done with getting the diagnosis. Next step is the statementing  (SEN). All children with SEN should get support in school. How much is down to the needs clearly written in the statement. You are the expert of your child so you must be happy what needs are agreed on and what support your child will get.

Before anything its important you choose the right school that can meet your child’s needs. Resource base or unit within a mainstream school or even a special school.

First question to ask about the current school is does the head teacher\SENCO have an understanding of ASDs. How have they worked well with ASD children? Have they all or any had any training? Are they interested in your child?

Code of Practice states that schools and parents work in partnership

 “Moving her into another school is something that has been playing heavy on my mind lately”

Sometimes you have to make difficult decisions but in the long term it’s all for the best. We moved city to find the right school and support.

Parent Partnership and Early Birds is highly recommended !

www.meetup.com/.../

Hey guys, 

Thanks for all the advice, it has been so helpful.

So I asked if I could have a meeting with the SENCO which turned out to be the head teacher, which I was a little disappointed by, I was hoping that it would be a outside representative with a non biased view on how the school are dealing with my daughter and what could be put in place to help her cope and get the most out of school. The conversation I had with her, was much like the rest, very little information given unless I specifically asked, but maybe that's how it is.  I don't know. The school action and school action plus, they said she had additional help in class along with 9 other children that had fallen behind (I knew about this extra help) where they are taken out to read, non of this children have a disability though... Sorry I'm not sure if I should call it a disability, I personally don't see it as one :/ she also never actually said if it was part of a school action or school action plus. But all in all my conversation with her felt totally pointless because the only answer I really got was we can't do this because we need someone to come in and observe her, or we can't do that because we're not occupational therapist or a pyscologist (sorry for my spelling) although we spoke about these coming to see her last year it turns out they never started that off so that's only just happening now, which also angered me as they they turned down our family paying for a private child pyscologist to see her, to save time waiting on the system with reasoning that they would not be able to act on the reports from a private pyscologist. 

But on the bright side I finally managed to get her to give me the number to contact the school nurse myself and after a discussion I've managed to set up a meeting with the school nurse and the school for in a few days time, so hopefully I may be able to get answers then and a bit more being done.

Thanks again!

Hi,

Just wanted to let you know my sons experience.

I have a recently diagnosed 6 year old son. After he was diagnosed the school pushed for a copy of his report and very quickly arranged for a specialist teacher to come in and observe him in class. This was arranged by the SENCO, who then saw myself, the specialist teacher and class teacher to talk about what to do next. I am lucky in that my sons school has a specialist unit attached. 

I am hoping to get a place on Early Birds (I think that is what its called) to learn some more about having a child with ASD. After we were given the diagnosis, I was handed a leaflet and told we would be seen in a few months, I was horrified and felt really alone and scared and like you, felt I was failing my son, because I just didn't know what to do next. i feel a massive life line has come from my local branch of the NAS. We go to play sessions and all the other parents have offered support and advice.

 My son has the same obsession with computers and his class teacher suggested that he has 10 minutes on it at the end of the day as a reward, perhaps your daughters class teacher could do something similar. As for leaving class or sneaking off, this happened twice and the school were horrified. They suggested using  books and stories to show what could happen if you go off without an adult and it hasn't happened since. As for funding, I think the school need to explain the process of how they intend to get this and what eveidence they are collecting to justify the need for any extra funding. I think, from what you have said, the school needs to pull its socks up a little bit.

I would say, as one parent to another, do not worry too much about friendships until you have worked out all the other things. It seems like you have enough of a struggle with how things need to progress at school.

I really hope that you get some positive outcomes from the school soon. Good luck!

Hi again Ash,

Ok so... The SENCO is the special needs co-ordinator and I believe that every school is supposed to have one but that may not be right.  Most schools I have heard of, have a SENCO. 

It's a good idea to check up on the school action +.  As for the teacher telling you that the wobble cushion is a waste of time, she's not an occupational therapist! 

The statement of special needs is something that the school should be organising, especially as they have already told you she needs more funding.  The doctor wont really be able to help very much with that.  You can ask for an assesment yourself.  Is she seens by an educational psycologist or speech and language therapist?

From what you have said, I think you are in need of someone who really knows what they are talking about.  Can I suggest getting in touch with Parent Partnership?  Put them into the search engine if you don't have the details of your local one.  I think that they might be able to give you more concrete advice.  From what you have said this is a pretty desperate situation and I wouldn't be at all happy if this were my child!

You are not the first person I have heard talk about chosing a school with a good OFSTED which in the end doesn't benefit their child.  Results aren't everything are they?  Happiness is worth far more in my opinion.

Keep fighting for her.  You're doing a terrific job I'm sure.  Please let me know how you get on and what school have to say!

Hey,

firstly thank you for your words and reply. I think I feel as though i am letting her down because I don't know what help and support she entitled to and that some days, I feel as though I barely know anything about her. I know that sounds terrible but its as though she is trapped in her own little bubble and some days it's easier, then other days its as though its to much for her and she can't communicate her feelings, wants, etc across. 

With the school, I choose it for its high standards and fantastic offsted,  all of which I don't seem to Be benefiting her at all. Moving her into another school is something that has been playing heavy on my mind lately, but it means a bit of a commute every morning, which doesn't bother me the slightest but for her can be a issue at times. The school haven't mentioned about her being on a action+ so i will question this today. The only support she is getting is from a TA with other children in the class that are behind with there work. Although this helps her catch up, it's most defiantly not enough. The school keep fobbing me off with excuses of that she needs funding and will be bought up at the next board meeting, 2 of which have happened and they are yet to have put anything in place. I just keep getting told its the system. But surely it gets to the point where they can see its dangerous and something can be done? Her teacher complained to me about her always "sneaking" off to other rooms where there is s computers and that she needs constant Supervision to keep her in class otherwise at they end up having search to round school. But she says she can't give her that with 29 other kids in the class. My reply was that I don't believe it's sneaking off, she's obsessive over computers laptops iPads, anything like that, they know that, and when she knows there is one just outside the room or in another room it's  as though she has tunnel vision and all she can focus on is that. Surely thiIsis considered as lack of care or at least a danger :despite my constant request nothing they have said they will do has actually happened yet, not even the simple things like a wobble chair to help her ewith concentrating whilst working, they have them in school, I even offered to buy her one for school, but no nothing, other than the teacher telling me she thinks there more hassle than they are worth (not very supportive huh?!) I've never heard of SENCO but I am going to read into it along with the school action+. Nor have I been told anything about a statement, but maybe that will be bought up at her next doctors appointment. 

As for the friendships, you are right there I think, i do want her to have friends, I think any parents hates the thought of there child being alone. There times when she really wants a friend round to play from school but doesn't Because of her social skills, she seems o flitty with friendships. she seems at her happiest when she is playing a computer game with her cousins or on her ipad, but obviously I want to find other things that stimulate her.

Thanks again for your help :)

Hi Ash,

First of all, you are not letting her down.  Not by a long way.  The fact that she has all these diagnosis and you are on this forum asking for help, shows that you are fighting her corner!  So plese put that out of your mind.  Everyone in your situation feels utterly helpless.  And it sounds to me like the school are less than supportive.

So...  do you know if your daughter is on school action+?  My understanding is that this should entitle her to a certain (small) amount of funding.  How the school use that is up to them but I think that you have a right to know how it is being spent.  If she is not on school action + I would ask why not and perhaps to see the eligability criteria.  I think that if outside agencies have been involved, which it sounds as if they must have been with that list of diagnosis, she should be on it.  Obviously, all of this is the way I have interrpreted the situation and may not be 100% correct.

Has anyone considered a statement?  How is she doing academically?  I am assuming not great considering the challenges she must be facing in a school environment.

In terms of my sons experience, he has some similar problems to your daughter and is lucky enough to be in a very supportive school.  The help was there long, long before any diagnosis were made. 

Deos the school have a SENCO?  It sounds to me like a very unsafe environment if your daughter has managed to leave the premisis on a number of occassions.  I think I might be jumping up and down in someones office by now!  They have a duty of care to keep her safe and they don't sound like they can even manage that!  I think I would be seriously considering if this was the right school for my child but I know that the change can be daunting. 

In terms of friendships, I used to feel that way about my son but then over time I have started to think I am projecting my own wants onto him.  He likes to socialise when it suits him but more often than not, wants to be left in peace and quiet and that is what makes him happy.  All you can do is support her to socialise on her own terms.

Best of luck!