Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I am in a long term realtionship married for over 10 years. Communication (mine) has always been as issue. I don't communicate much with my wife and have been through different therapies, first for a diagnosis of social anxiety, and a second for strategies in relationship communication. Both of these I felt helped but my wife doesn't think so.
She believes I have high functioning autism, and we have looked at some online quick assessments which would suggest this too, I am waiting for an assessment referral through my GP. However, things in our relationship have become increasingly strained during Covid, as we dont get time away from each other and so I struggle to find things to talk about.
I have been working on telling her more but often when I say something she feels I am saying something else and I am not explaining things well, Is this something that people with autism can relate to, and be a suggestion that I am on the spectrum.
I am struggling to find any help and advice, there is a lot for what other people can do to help someone with autism but I am struggling to find what I can do to help myself.
Can anyone relate or give advice?
I can defo relate at times, more so in the past, to people reading some commonly recognised social overtone into an action or sentence of mine where there was none intended. This sort of mixup has ranged as my being viewed artificially as anything from flirtatious to oblivious to blunt or whatever depending on context.
I think your wife needs to bear in mind that she should also try to communicate on your terms as well as trying to form your communication into something more neurotypical. It's interesting that you felt the strategies in relationship communication helped but she doesn't.
Maybe ask her to list the reasons why she feels it didn't help while you list the reasons you feel it did and compare notes.