Autism shame?

I didn’t really care when I got my diagnosis. It was what it was, and I lived with it. I did a huge autism workbook with a family friend. It didn’t really matter. 
But recently I’ve become aware of how ashamed I am. I always feel like the child nobody ever wanted to have. The sob story on Britain’s got talent. The problem child.

And I don’t know how to accept it when it’s all in media. I don’t know how to accept it while people still say I’m sorry to my mum if she says something.

Has anyone else experienced this?

Parents
  • It is getting better but a lot of NT's still cannot handle it. I've never told anyone about my MH struggles since I was a child, because I've seen others who have and be treated awfully. My manager said to me only last week "well everyone's a bit autistic aren't they?" followed by a hearty laugh like he was the funniest person alive. So glad I haven't told anyone because it would be used to discriminate against me when I've already got enough to deal with.

    I used to hate myself, but in the last 10 years or so, I realised I only hated myself because of how the people around me treat me. When I'm alone, I'm generally happy, albeit a bit lonely. Don't be ashamed of who you are, because of other people xx

Reply
  • It is getting better but a lot of NT's still cannot handle it. I've never told anyone about my MH struggles since I was a child, because I've seen others who have and be treated awfully. My manager said to me only last week "well everyone's a bit autistic aren't they?" followed by a hearty laugh like he was the funniest person alive. So glad I haven't told anyone because it would be used to discriminate against me when I've already got enough to deal with.

    I used to hate myself, but in the last 10 years or so, I realised I only hated myself because of how the people around me treat me. When I'm alone, I'm generally happy, albeit a bit lonely. Don't be ashamed of who you are, because of other people xx

Children
  • I know what you mean about hating myself because other people treat me like I'm hateful. I like myself, generally speaking. The worst crime you can commit in this society is to fail to conform. The happiest book I have read lately is Bellwether by Connie Willis, who is very good. It has taken me my whole life to realise that the reason why other people seem to so quickly instinctively know what to do in social situations (or indeed any situations) is because they all copy each other like sheep.  But someone has to be the first...that's what this book is about. I found her main character's rants about why people choose the fads to follow that they do very comforting and very funny. The character is a researcher studying how fashions and fads start. She wrote another called Crosstalk about telepathic people getting sensory overload from hearing everyone's thoughts at once - could really relate to the sensory overload part - not telepathic of course though I used to think everyone else must be!  A lovely book, especially the bits about libraries.