Published on 12, July, 2020
I didn’t really care when I got my diagnosis. It was what it was, and I lived with it. I did a huge autism workbook with a family friend. It didn’t really matter. But recently I’ve become aware of how ashamed I am. I always feel like the child nobody ever wanted to have. The sob story on Britain’s got talent. The problem child.
And I don’t know how to accept it when it’s all in media. I don’t know how to accept it while people still say I’m sorry to my mum if she says something.
Has anyone else experienced this?
It is getting better but a lot of NT's still cannot handle it. I've never told anyone about my MH struggles since I was a child, because I've seen others who have and be treated awfully. My manager said to me only last week "well everyone's a bit autistic aren't they?" followed by a hearty laugh like he was the funniest person alive. So glad I haven't told anyone because it would be used to discriminate against me when I've already got enough to deal with.
I used to hate myself, but in the last 10 years or so, I realised I only hated myself because of how the people around me treat me. When I'm alone, I'm generally happy, albeit a bit lonely. Don't be ashamed of who you are, because of other people xx