Published on 12, July, 2020
I didn’t really care when I got my diagnosis. It was what it was, and I lived with it. I did a huge autism workbook with a family friend. It didn’t really matter. But recently I’ve become aware of how ashamed I am. I always feel like the child nobody ever wanted to have. The sob story on Britain’s got talent. The problem child.
And I don’t know how to accept it when it’s all in media. I don’t know how to accept it while people still say I’m sorry to my mum if she says something.
Has anyone else experienced this?
I can only say from my perspective, in my opinion the fact that autism is such a “hot” topic and there are so many online influencers who claim to be advocating for autistic people is often harmful. For us. I heard once from a professional, that in fact I’m “a little bit autistic” but it’s so trendy these days, everyone wants to be autistic. I heard that after describing her my problems, I was also gaslit that these problems are not real problems. So hearing it that it’s just for attention, trendy etc is extremely hurtful and toxic, it feels like a slap on my face after what I went through and still fighting. This also made me feel shame for who I am. But for short. I quit seeing that psychotherapist and said to myself there is no need to be ashamed for who I am.