Published on 12, July, 2020
I didn’t really care when I got my diagnosis. It was what it was, and I lived with it. I did a huge autism workbook with a family friend. It didn’t really matter. But recently I’ve become aware of how ashamed I am. I always feel like the child nobody ever wanted to have. The sob story on Britain’s got talent. The problem child.
And I don’t know how to accept it when it’s all in media. I don’t know how to accept it while people still say I’m sorry to my mum if she says something.
Has anyone else experienced this?
I got diagnosed because of the increasing number of problems my Asperger's was causing - I'd reached the limits of my masking. Since then, the more I understand about myself, the more ashamed and disgusted I am with my Aspergers. I can now see and feel when people have been / are using and manipulating and bullying me. I've been treated shockingly over the years by people I had to trust - mainly in the workplace.
It's that sudden realisation that I'm a joke that hits really hard. I absolutely understand why there are so many Asperger's suicides.
Wise words, from a wise, wise man. RIP.