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This may have been done to death(no pun intended..but i wondered how many people struggle with prevalent suicidal thoughts.

AlwaysIS
over 4 years ago

Ive always contended with this issue and half attempted at 17yrs...i am now 51., and diagnosed last year with Autism.

I know why i had a break down at 17 as i was being thrust into the wider world and was overwhelmed(not knowing at the time that i had Autism,.)I also had very uncaring parents..

Ive not been par tof a family since 17yrs old...and not had any friends from that time also...And the ones i did have at that time...were just people i latched onto for one reason or another and they rightly in some ways..hated my neediness!

I wont bore anyone with my present circumstances... but ive been going through so much.,...and suicidal thoughts are coming up....but i sense theyre a cognitive crutch when im mentally exhausted !.

But ive began to find great comfort within peoples comments here on the site....Thats im not alone in some senses.....we all ,one way or another have shared symptoms and its encouraging to read that people CAN and do, become comfortable being alone....(if those are the right words) As this is a struggle, which pains me because i know even if i did have friends..i just cannot seem to maintain these relationships....So i hope to finally become a friend to myself..

I dont wish or intend to upset anyone with the subject matter and it doesnt have to go deep at all..but truly feel free to express yourself in whatever way you wish...

but wondered if suicidal thoughts are a thing within Autism itself.?

Parents
  • over 4 years ago

    You're certainly not alone in this; I have always been plagued with such thoughts - usually in the middle of the night when I cannot sleep, and my brain decides to focus on a million and one ways that I might have screwed my life up. Other times they are very fleeting - a bus might be driving past, and just for a moment, I think; "ooh, what if I just stepped into the road right now?". Is this more common in autism? The statistics speak for themselves - some research shows rates as much as nine times higher than average (though much less so the older people get). I've also spoken to quite a few other autistic people over the last few years of using forums who have much the same experiences.

    My tactic (and please read to the end for the big caveat!!) is not to fight against the thoughts too much - I accept them as "unwanted thoughts" and let the fantasy of planning it all play out, and at some point, my brain nearly always just decides to move on to something else of it's own accord. If I try to push against them, I find them much harder to let go of. HOWEVER, I do NOT recommend this tactic to people who haven't had a lifetime of getting used to having such thoughts and knowing very, very well when they are unlikely to act upon them -  please get in touch with the Samaritans or a mental health crisis team if you have even the slightest doubts that the thoughts might not be so easy to shake off!!!

    I don't think that it's being autistic per se which makes those thoughts more common - it's feelings of not "fitting in", not having "a place in the world", stress from trying to mask ourselves, and a whole load of other mental health factors like that. I'm sure that if the world was more accepting of us, that those terrible statistics would be far less stark. As you said, you have to become a friend to yourself, and a bit of online friendship with our forum buddies certainly doesn't do any harm, either!

Reply
  • over 4 years ago

    You're certainly not alone in this; I have always been plagued with such thoughts - usually in the middle of the night when I cannot sleep, and my brain decides to focus on a million and one ways that I might have screwed my life up. Other times they are very fleeting - a bus might be driving past, and just for a moment, I think; "ooh, what if I just stepped into the road right now?". Is this more common in autism? The statistics speak for themselves - some research shows rates as much as nine times higher than average (though much less so the older people get). I've also spoken to quite a few other autistic people over the last few years of using forums who have much the same experiences.

    My tactic (and please read to the end for the big caveat!!) is not to fight against the thoughts too much - I accept them as "unwanted thoughts" and let the fantasy of planning it all play out, and at some point, my brain nearly always just decides to move on to something else of it's own accord. If I try to push against them, I find them much harder to let go of. HOWEVER, I do NOT recommend this tactic to people who haven't had a lifetime of getting used to having such thoughts and knowing very, very well when they are unlikely to act upon them -  please get in touch with the Samaritans or a mental health crisis team if you have even the slightest doubts that the thoughts might not be so easy to shake off!!!

    I don't think that it's being autistic per se which makes those thoughts more common - it's feelings of not "fitting in", not having "a place in the world", stress from trying to mask ourselves, and a whole load of other mental health factors like that. I'm sure that if the world was more accepting of us, that those terrible statistics would be far less stark. As you said, you have to become a friend to yourself, and a bit of online friendship with our forum buddies certainly doesn't do any harm, either!

Children
  • over 4 years ago in reply to Trogluddite

    I sense its the side effects of isolation and not fitting in too...it would likely be odd not to have them occur i suppose..

    Ive had these "thoughts" very much in the same style as you described yourself.

    And , havent acted on them...except a half hearted,,,(scream for help at 17)..so 34 yrs of not acting on these thoughts...

    I take great comfort , from other views and experiences..

    Thanks for your reply. Very helpful