My family hate me

Chloe thank you for the concern and support links and numbers. I'm in a bad place. I'm going to email you via your webform as I don't think anyone who doesn't know about autism will be able to help me. Problems with help in the past has been that noone could understand where I was coming from. Links. Support and help. Much appreciated thank you Chloe.

• We are all here for you.  I think you need to talk to someone asap. The post by Chloe Modis perfect for you.  Pleasd take her advice and reach out to one of these organisations for support

Hi Lora,

I'm very sorry to hear that you have been struggling in this way, but thank you for sharing this with us as it's the first step in getting any support you may need. Many people have similar thoughts when coping with so much and we hope you’re okay. 

If you are unable to cope with the distress or despair, it’s very important to tell someone about your feelings or thoughts of suicide. Call your GP and make an urgent appointment. Your GP can make sure you get appropriate help and support.

If it’s outside your GP hours call  111 to reach the NHS 111 service:  http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/Emergencyandurgentcareservices/Pages/NHS-111.aspx 

The Samaritans also provide confidential non-judgemental emotional support, 24 hours a day on 116 123, or by email on jo@samaritans.org.

MIND have information pages on coping with self harm or suicidal feelings based on the experiences of people who’ve been through it that you may find helpful. 

If you are very close to doing something to hurt yourself - call 999 now or go to your nearest A&E department. There should be someone there to support you and make sure you get ongoing support.

If you need help with an autism related issue, our helpline can be emailed via webform https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx or they’re open Monday to Thursday 10am-4pm and Friday 9am-3pm on 0808 800 4104. 

All the best,

ChloeMod.

There are family members I could speak to but we’re not a close family and dont meet or speak often. And no. No support staff. I had support up until last year. A woman used to come to the house and talk to me about how I was coping at home and school. She was helpful and I miss seeing her.

If I was close to anybody Id show them this page but no one I know would be interested.

Thats true. Even though its awful for everyone who has it. There’s comfort in knowing you’re not the only one. It’s a comfort to me.

Sometimes I feel my self councilling isn’t healthy but it does help or appears to which is why I keep doing it. Hope is always with me and I like to think staying hopeful helps to even if it doesn’t always feel like it does.

Thanks. I’ll speak to my dad but whether it will help I dont really know.

Lora,

Firstly, well done for communicating your feelings in the forum.  

I would like to say that you are not alone in the way you are feeling either.  I have been researching autism as my son has been recently diagnosed and if this research is correct then your feelings are understandable.

Do you have a family member you could speak with outside your home.  Gran/grampa/auntie etc?  Also in school do you have a support member of staff allocated to you?  It is difficult to open up but even if you let them read this post?

Sending big hugs

Donfor x

I know the feelings and realities youre speaking of.

Though im sure we would rather others not go through these things...theres a comfort knowing youre not alone..in the sense that, others have and are going through this type of experience...

Hold onto hope ,and i'm sure  its a matter of time before it gets better.....they'll be peaks and troughs,  but do the best you can...and keep the councilling up and have a good chat with your father.

All the best

Doesnt it? Its ridiculous. I showed my teacher. She looked and said no more. But I recognised the look. It was like she didn’t believe me like id marked myself for attention or to get others in trouble.

Im hanging on to hope and trying my best to stay positive.

I’m going to try and talk to my dad tonight. Hes more approachable than my mum. I dont think I imagine this. They dont seem to like me very much. But I am dealing with a lot of mental problems so it could be linked to that. Lately ive been paranoid. Starting protecting myself when Im out and I feel like everyone has it out for me.

Seeing my headmaster is on my list of to dos but I’m afraid he won’t believe me either.

Ive tried councilling myself and thats helping I think.

If the bullies mark you with pens...How can the teachers say its in your mind , when the evidence is all over your hands arms etc?  beggars belief doesnt it.

Please dont give up!....one thought will pile on another and it will be mountainous !...and certainly you are going through alot...but please have hope that youlll find hope and the right words to come to mind. to be able to rest your fears and cope somehow.

Firstly.,...that bullying needs to totally stop asap...Make an appointment with the headmaster and categorically state youll take it as high as  possible if nothing is done.

Is there any chance you may be not quite seeing things correctly with your parents?...Im certainly not saying they arent reacting as you say...but go over it a few more times in your mind and double check youve got that right....

You need councilling and ironically it will be your parents that you need to talk to first regarding this. 

Thank you for replying.

I was diagnosed because when I was younger I used to make unusual sounds. I couldn't ride a bike and stay on it. Very bad balance. And I also wash my hands like 50 times an hour. All this led to a diagnosis.

I told other people because my dad said I shouldnt hide who I am. I agreed with him so I said. Really that should've been fine but as usual there was people who saw it as a laugh and a reason to start picking on me.

Telling people about my diagnosis was a mistake but I feel angry because it shouldnt have been. People should be mature enough to accept it but they arent. Everyone should be able to be proud of who they are but we cant be because everyone else thinks its a joke.

Your experiences sound very familiar.

Can I ask why you were diagnosed?

How do other people know about it?

Did you publicise it?

With age, I  am getting more and more sceptical, careful, and more streetwise. 

In life we have to be careful, and only disclose a diagnosis when it is required or to our advantage.

My advise is to just carry on as the best you can and don't mention autism if you can avoid it.

I hope other people here will be more helpful.