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My family hate me

Lora

My family hate me.

Ever since I was diagnosed they treat me differently. They dont speak to me unless they have to. And they act around me like I’m a time bomb that could go off at any second. To make matters worse I am bullied at school by everyone. Name calling. Taking my stuff. Marking me with pens because they know I hate the feel on my skin. Ive told my teachers but they dont like me either. Told me it’s in my mind. I told my mum her words of wisdom ‘You’re a big girl now deal with it’.

When I was really young I didn’t mix well with other children. I struggled to make friends. I didn’t cope well with change to my routine and I struggle to communicate verbally. But ive always been nice as possible because I treat others how I want to be treated. I wish I hadnt been diagnosed. Before the diagnosis my family loved me and now they dont speak to me unless they have to. Its like I have a disease or something.

Recently ive started feeling depressed. Im imagining things as well. Things I know could never be true but a part of me believes it. My minds a mess. But have no one to talk to because everyone avoids me. Even my sisters dont speak to me.

I want to give up. No one loves or likes me. My life is empty and full of misery and pain. I finish school in two years and I wont last another year. I dont know what to do. I have no one. Im hoping to make a friend or two here, see if anyone else is like me and has been through this.

Parents

  • Lora,

    Firstly, well done for communicating your feelings in the forum.  

    I would like to say that you are not alone in the way you are feeling either.  I have been researching autism as my son has been recently diagnosed and if this research is correct then your feelings are understandable.

    Do you have a family member you could speak with outside your home.  Gran/grampa/auntie etc?  Also in school do you have a support member of staff allocated to you?  It is difficult to open up but even if you let them read this post?

    Sending big hugs

    Donfor x

  • in reply to NAS65919

    There are family members I could speak to but we’re not a close family and dont meet or speak often. And no. No support staff. I had support up until last year. A woman used to come to the house and talk to me about how I was coping at home and school. She was helpful and I miss seeing her.

    If I was close to anybody Id show them this page but no one I know would be interested.

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  • in reply to NAS65919

    There are family members I could speak to but we’re not a close family and dont meet or speak often. And no. No support staff. I had support up until last year. A woman used to come to the house and talk to me about how I was coping at home and school. She was helpful and I miss seeing her.

    If I was close to anybody Id show them this page but no one I know would be interested.

Children