Published on 12, July, 2020
Im Lora and my life is just crumbling to pieces. The people around me are sick and have been for the last years and since ive been slowly starting to break. I feel like an egg, cracking and am terrified because i know very soon I will just crack and that will be my life over.
Its hard because everyday everything seems worse than yesterday. its horrible. It puts me in a bad mood and makes me thing awful things about myself and others. I never used to be like this. Six years ago life was perfect. I was happy, me family was happy and healthy and I could see a future. Now theres nothing but emptiness and darkness.
The day is quickly approaching when ill 'crack' and lose myself. But I want a friend, someone to talk to before that happens so you can get to know the real me before its to late. I want at least someone to know who I am and what I'm like before my memory is gone forever. I get angry recently but thats not me, it never used to be. I liked music, art, walking and reading. Ive never had a friend, someone I could talk to or understand me. I find myself and life so disappointing. I had a fantastic family and we had some good times and now those times are coming to a sad end.
Im so upset and so scared of what's coming and Im afraid ill break down before its time.
The dark times pass Lora I promise you that and I’m a strange way they make us all the more resilient in the long run. Hang in there it will pass. I go though these periods of darkness from time to time and they can be frustrating and difficult but I am getting better at spotting the signs early and I apply some innermost self reflection and breathing/meditation work. Having someone close who you can confide in can also be beneficial as it provides a sound bored for our internal world and can often bring with it clarity and the opportunity to look at a situation with a different perspective.
i hope this helps in some manner
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