Published on 12, July, 2020
Im Lora and my life is just crumbling to pieces. The people around me are sick and have been for the last years and since ive been slowly starting to break. I feel like an egg, cracking and am terrified because i know very soon I will just crack and that will be my life over.
Its hard because everyday everything seems worse than yesterday. its horrible. It puts me in a bad mood and makes me thing awful things about myself and others. I never used to be like this. Six years ago life was perfect. I was happy, me family was happy and healthy and I could see a future. Now theres nothing but emptiness and darkness.
The day is quickly approaching when ill 'crack' and lose myself. But I want a friend, someone to talk to before that happens so you can get to know the real me before its to late. I want at least someone to know who I am and what I'm like before my memory is gone forever. I get angry recently but thats not me, it never used to be. I liked music, art, walking and reading. Ive never had a friend, someone I could talk to or understand me. I find myself and life so disappointing. I had a fantastic family and we had some good times and now those times are coming to a sad end.
Im so upset and so scared of what's coming and Im afraid ill break down before its time.
The dark times pass Lora I promise you that and I’m a strange way they make us all the more resilient in the long run. Hang in there it will pass. I go though these periods of darkness from time to time and they can be frustrating and difficult but I am getting better at spotting the signs early and I apply some innermost self reflection and breathing/meditation work. Having someone close who you can confide in can also be beneficial as it provides a sound bored for our internal world and can often bring with it clarity and the opportunity to look at a situation with a different perspective.
i hope this helps in some manner
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Hi Lora! I understand what you are feeling. Be patient, it's winter time, january is the hardest month, don't you think? It will get better,
Good afternoon Lora,
Thanks for your sharing your posy.
I am sorry you are experiencing difficulty.
I can't imagine what you are going through.
It must be so challenging trying to keep everything together.
As well as, trying not to let things become too much.
I hope you know that if you ever needed to talk.
There are several helplines you could access such as the Autism helpline.
Also, the use of the community page.
Thanks for taking the time and courage to share your post.
Please feel reassured that you have done nothing wrong or you are at fault.
I hope that things can become less stressful for you.
Everyone deserves a bit of happiness.
No matter how big or small.
Hello Lora, I'm very sorry to hear that you're going through a very hard time in your life.
You may like to contact our Autism Helpline team who can provide you with information and advice . You can contact the team via telephone on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor. Alternatively, should you prefer to send a message, you can do so via their webform:
https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx
Hope this helps. All the best to you.
It is really hard to balance. People always say to me, "You just need to slow down and take a break," but that's easier said than done!
Hair can sometimes fall out due to stress. It might be worth talking to your doctor about how you're feeling to see if you can get any support for yourself.
5 minutes of me time is a good start I like to get myself a cup of tea and try to drink it without any distractions, or just take a few minutes to read a chapter of a book. I find that reading takes me somewhere else for a little while.
Hi, thanks for you're message and for being my friend. ive literally never had anybody as a friend before so its nice to feel loved and accepted here.
things are very difficult at the moment, at home and at work, but i want it to get better but i lose myself.
Thank you! I love foxes too, such cute animals!
Hi DuckBread. Thanks for you're message and for allowing me to sen you afriend request.
Im glad you understand this. its so hard. Ive been working so hard trying to balance life around everythings that happening but its almost impossible to do and to make matters worse my hairs falling out though i think thats stress maybe? but i am trying to take care of myself as well. every night i try and devote five minutes of me time when possible
thanks again for your message its really kind of you.
I'm happy to be your friend. I understand a bit of what you are going through, everyone has difficulties in their lives, it is important to understand that you really can get through them. I like your picture, foxes are really cute!
Hi, Lora. I'm really sorry you're going through such a tough time. It's so difficult when the people around you are unwell/struggling and you're doing your best to help everyone. It's important to try and take care of yourself too, as hard as that is.
Feel free to send me a friend request on this site if you'd like - I'm happy for you to send me a message when you want to chat.