Published on 12, July, 2020
Im Lora and my life is just crumbling to pieces. The people around me are sick and have been for the last years and since ive been slowly starting to break. I feel like an egg, cracking and am terrified because i know very soon I will just crack and that will be my life over.
Its hard because everyday everything seems worse than yesterday. its horrible. It puts me in a bad mood and makes me thing awful things about myself and others. I never used to be like this. Six years ago life was perfect. I was happy, me family was happy and healthy and I could see a future. Now theres nothing but emptiness and darkness.
The day is quickly approaching when ill 'crack' and lose myself. But I want a friend, someone to talk to before that happens so you can get to know the real me before its to late. I want at least someone to know who I am and what I'm like before my memory is gone forever. I get angry recently but thats not me, it never used to be. I liked music, art, walking and reading. Ive never had a friend, someone I could talk to or understand me. I find myself and life so disappointing. I had a fantastic family and we had some good times and now those times are coming to a sad end.
Im so upset and so scared of what's coming and Im afraid ill break down before its time.
Hello Lora, I'm very sorry to hear that you're going through a very hard time in your life.
You may like to contact our Autism Helpline team who can provide you with information and advice . You can contact the team via telephone on 0808 800 4104 (Monday to Thursday 10am to 4pm, Friday 9am to 3pm). Please note that the Helpline is experiencing a high volume of calls and it may take a couple of attempts before you get through to speak to an advisor. Alternatively, should you prefer to send a message, you can do so via their webform:
https://www.autism.org.uk/services/helplines/main/questions.aspx
Hope this helps. All the best to you.