NT spouse of ?Asperger's.

It sounds like you are both exhausted and exasperated with each other. He will have failed to make his ideas clear to you over the years and you will have failed to get through to him.

How much have you read about his condition? Have you read a detailed book like Tony Attwells complete Guide to Aspergers? Having problems with authority is absolutely standard behaviour for someone on the spectrum. We don't respect authority unless it is legitimised by knowledge and demonstrable expertese. We are often curious though and will pick things up and invetigate things if our curiosity is sparked by a discovery.

I think that I used to be in a state where I thought I made sense and that I could see things that others couldn't see. I had no insight into how people really didn't get what I was on about. It was generally their fault for failing to understand me. I came to the understanding that something was wrong when I had yet another catastrophic job interview. I guessed that it might be ASC and looked into it and the more I looked into it the more it fitted. This lead to a diagnosis. I have taken the view that not only does the world need to make some allowance for me and my differences but I need to try and understand why the world reacts, as it does, to me. I can't change the underlying cause but I can change my attiude and I can understand that this is strange and alien to others.

A deadlock like this often needs both sides to make moves and concessions. There are books that describe how to take a positive attitude to having the condition (e.g. Valerie Gaus: Living Well on the Spectrum, The Dummies Guide To... series also has a book on the subject) you could get one of these and let him read it. Perhaps you could get it for yourself but let him have it if he shows interest. ie let him discover it for himself rather than giving it to him and expecting him to read it.

It sounds like you are both exhausted and exasperated with each other. He will have failed to make his ideas clear to you over the years and you will have failed to get through to him.

How much have you read about his condition? Have you read a detailed book like Tony Attwells complete Guide to Aspergers? Having problems with authority is absolutely standard behaviour for someone on the spectrum. We don't respect authority unless it is legitimised by knowledge and demonstrable expertese. We are often curious though and will pick things up and invetigate things if our curiosity is sparked by a discovery.

I think that I used to be in a state where I thought I made sense and that I could see things that others couldn't see. I had no insight into how people really didn't get what I was on about. It was generally their fault for failing to understand me. I came to the understanding that something was wrong when I had yet another catastrophic job interview. I guessed that it might be ASC and looked into it and the more I looked into it the more it fitted. This lead to a diagnosis. I have taken the view that not only does the world need to make some allowance for me and my differences but I need to try and understand why the world reacts, as it does, to me. I can't change the underlying cause but I can change my attiude and I can understand that this is strange and alien to others.

A deadlock like this often needs both sides to make moves and concessions. There are books that describe how to take a positive attitude to having the condition (e.g. Valerie Gaus: Living Well on the Spectrum, The Dummies Guide To... series also has a book on the subject) you could get one of these and let him read it. Perhaps you could get it for yourself but let him have it if he shows interest. ie let him discover it for himself rather than giving it to him and expecting him to read it.