NT spouse of ?Asperger's.

hi onmyown

im an nt partner of an aspie, and i recognise a lot of what you said

before the diagnosis our relationship consisted of a lot of stress, fights and me feeling alone and 'used' to a degree, now that we have diagnosis, i cant pretend that goes away, but it make sit more understandable

as you know if he does have it it is NOT personal, he does not mean to hurt you, he doesnt mean to be selfish, and probably doesnt even know he has been/is

things dont 'change' when you have a diagnosis, but i did learn to live with it a lot better and accept most of these things as just a fact of our relationship

it is not bad, but its not 'normal' but thats something i personally enjoy, its why we (i think) are attracted to those darn aspies in the first place, they are so intresting, odd, not 'normal' unique, right now, you have maybe focused on all those cr*ppy things you go through and have forgotten or not learned the good parts of his autism

BUT, you DO need to talk to someone, him AND a proffessional

because nothing will change and if you feel you need to have a diagnosis, then at the very least (even if he wont accept it) you can learn more about it and change your life with it and ask for help

which i have always said is just a fact of being an nt with an autistic it is YOU who has to change the majority of the time, to fit with their needs, because they cant

is that a lot to deal with , yes, it is,  but thats why having the knowledge helps, you can make a better decision on your life with it

im not saying you need a proffessional diagnosis, but i do think if even YOU just from now on accept he has it, you can change things for you

you have been with your partner a long time, and its obviously worn you down, but i dont think you have really been living with an autistic because you have no diagnosis, so in your  life youve been living with a horribly selfish  man, and you feel hes used you

but with the knowledge of it being possibly autism , does this change that? if it does, ok you can work with that,

if it doesnt, and you really cant do it anymore, then you have every right to do whatever makes you happy

hi onmyown

im an nt partner of an aspie, and i recognise a lot of what you said

before the diagnosis our relationship consisted of a lot of stress, fights and me feeling alone and 'used' to a degree, now that we have diagnosis, i cant pretend that goes away, but it make sit more understandable

as you know if he does have it it is NOT personal, he does not mean to hurt you, he doesnt mean to be selfish, and probably doesnt even know he has been/is

things dont 'change' when you have a diagnosis, but i did learn to live with it a lot better and accept most of these things as just a fact of our relationship

it is not bad, but its not 'normal' but thats something i personally enjoy, its why we (i think) are attracted to those darn aspies in the first place, they are so intresting, odd, not 'normal' unique, right now, you have maybe focused on all those cr*ppy things you go through and have forgotten or not learned the good parts of his autism

BUT, you DO need to talk to someone, him AND a proffessional

because nothing will change and if you feel you need to have a diagnosis, then at the very least (even if he wont accept it) you can learn more about it and change your life with it and ask for help

which i have always said is just a fact of being an nt with an autistic it is YOU who has to change the majority of the time, to fit with their needs, because they cant

is that a lot to deal with , yes, it is,  but thats why having the knowledge helps, you can make a better decision on your life with it

im not saying you need a proffessional diagnosis, but i do think if even YOU just from now on accept he has it, you can change things for you

you have been with your partner a long time, and its obviously worn you down, but i dont think you have really been living with an autistic because you have no diagnosis, so in your  life youve been living with a horribly selfish  man, and you feel hes used you

but with the knowledge of it being possibly autism , does this change that? if it does, ok you can work with that,

if it doesnt, and you really cant do it anymore, then you have every right to do whatever makes you happy