NT spouse of ?Asperger's.

You've all been very supportive so thanks!

I need to speak to someone before I speak to him.  I need to try to explain how he is and get a third person diagnosis I suppose.  I often wonder if he is just who he is?

I have spoken to two unconnected people both in education, about 2-3 years ago,who without prompting said to me that had I ever thought he was on the autistic spectrum?  I had not considered it and was just chatting with them describing the way he goes on. It came like a bolt from the blue when they both said it. One is a SENCo in a school. 

My son who is now 20 feels that his dad is a good guy but not your normal sort of guy. He thinks that there's something there but he's very young to have had any experience of this. He knows how unhappy I am but he loves his dad.

My sister thought he was odd the first time she met him. She said nothing to me!!!!  Afraid of upsetting me I suppose and would I have listened? She's not surprised at all but sad for me. 

I will try to speak to a 'professional' with experience. 

I have mentioned to him that we would be better off living next door to one another and I would like a different life.  He has said nothing and all the time I do nothing it seems he is content. He hates change and he hates it when things go wrong. He just can't cope but has had to cope with some things on his own since he retired as I still work. I said we were better as friends.  He cannot see that I have needs. Small things like just wanting a home, some feminine things around me.  As it is, I am surrounded by his hobby, books, magazines, note books, papers, everywhere. Living room (not really a living room!) understair cupboards, upstairs landing bookshelves, bedroom. I sleep in my son's room while he is at Uni.  Much better that way. Sad. I'm so sad and lonely and not at all brave at dealing with this and changing things.  I'm frightened of my security going and what sort of a life I shall have if it all changes. No family to speak of, no parents on either side, only a sister and a brother who I have little contact with and my son. Bleak! 

Must try and formulate a plan though. Find a professional to talk too first. Thanks everyone.

You've all been very supportive so thanks!

I need to speak to someone before I speak to him.  I need to try to explain how he is and get a third person diagnosis I suppose.  I often wonder if he is just who he is?

I have spoken to two unconnected people both in education, about 2-3 years ago,who without prompting said to me that had I ever thought he was on the autistic spectrum?  I had not considered it and was just chatting with them describing the way he goes on. It came like a bolt from the blue when they both said it. One is a SENCo in a school. 

My son who is now 20 feels that his dad is a good guy but not your normal sort of guy. He thinks that there's something there but he's very young to have had any experience of this. He knows how unhappy I am but he loves his dad.

My sister thought he was odd the first time she met him. She said nothing to me!!!!  Afraid of upsetting me I suppose and would I have listened? She's not surprised at all but sad for me. 

I will try to speak to a 'professional' with experience. 

I have mentioned to him that we would be better off living next door to one another and I would like a different life.  He has said nothing and all the time I do nothing it seems he is content. He hates change and he hates it when things go wrong. He just can't cope but has had to cope with some things on his own since he retired as I still work. I said we were better as friends.  He cannot see that I have needs. Small things like just wanting a home, some feminine things around me.  As it is, I am surrounded by his hobby, books, magazines, note books, papers, everywhere. Living room (not really a living room!) understair cupboards, upstairs landing bookshelves, bedroom. I sleep in my son's room while he is at Uni.  Much better that way. Sad. I'm so sad and lonely and not at all brave at dealing with this and changing things.  I'm frightened of my security going and what sort of a life I shall have if it all changes. No family to speak of, no parents on either side, only a sister and a brother who I have little contact with and my son. Bleak! 

Must try and formulate a plan though. Find a professional to talk too first. Thanks everyone.