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NT spouse of ?Asperger's.

onmyown
over 11 years ago

Hi

A bit apprensive on here. First time.

No diagnosis but partner exhibits many traits of asperger's. I'm convinced. Can't talk to him about it, scared. He has a temper. I was naive and young when we married.

I'm lonely and want to leave. I can't. No way back. Can't deal with it. It's my life too.

Anyone else living this way?

Thanks

OMO

Parents
  • over 11 years ago

    Hi onmyown,

    Your post could almost have been written by my own mother. She had made up her mind some years previously that she would leave when her children left home. She left him when her last child got married. She had had a happy childhood herself, unlike you.

    Poor man, he had no idea she was not happy. He had parents who were also probably on the spectrum and had no idea that life could be different. It is quite possible that your husband is content in his own way and has no idea how unhappy you are.

    I think you have been given wise advice about seeking counselling.

    I also have a friend in a similar situation (in her 40s) who has just left her husband. He does have a diagnosis. She just felt as you do a deep need to be loved for who she is. In her case she has met someone else who provides this for her.

    It is a very difficult situation for you and I am sure people here will be supportive.

Reply
  • over 11 years ago

    Hi onmyown,

    Your post could almost have been written by my own mother. She had made up her mind some years previously that she would leave when her children left home. She left him when her last child got married. She had had a happy childhood herself, unlike you.

    Poor man, he had no idea she was not happy. He had parents who were also probably on the spectrum and had no idea that life could be different. It is quite possible that your husband is content in his own way and has no idea how unhappy you are.

    I think you have been given wise advice about seeking counselling.

    I also have a friend in a similar situation (in her 40s) who has just left her husband. He does have a diagnosis. She just felt as you do a deep need to be loved for who she is. In her case she has met someone else who provides this for her.

    It is a very difficult situation for you and I am sure people here will be supportive.

Children
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