Published on 12, July, 2020
So basically I've just returned from my first appointment at my local community mental health centre after being referred by my GP.
I felt that the conversation I had when there was very broad and didn't really take into account any wider points, specifically more related to Asperger's. The majority of the question were about the social side of things, which I understand is obviously a big part of AS, but other characteristics affects me too and make life difficult.
All in all we spoke for only 15 to 20 minutes before she concluded I don't have AS, that I have social anxiety and depression and tried to pit me on a course of anti-depressants. She said she'd book me another appointment to see her in 3 months, and one to see a psychiatrist about the social anxiety. I declined the medication, not least because I'm not depressed, but also because I am put off by side effects and such.
I understand how social anxiety can be very closely related to AS, but I feel she didn't listen to or pay any attention to the other characteristics and such that are covered by the umbrella that is AS. Obviously some days I feel 'down' about things, but it's very far from being depressed and I feel as if they've just made an extremely quick decision in trying to offer me anti depressants before fully understanding everything.
Should I just continue and go to the appointment in 3 months, and the one with the psychiatrist, or should I go back to my GP and try and get referred to someone else who may pay more attention to me?
I probably should've mentioned, I'm 20.
Thanks for any advice/help :)
Thanks for that reply longman. You've nailed it completely. I must have spent nearly two hours talking to my psychiatrist (who was really understanding with my partner I have to say in her defence) but at one point she, not I, introduced the topic of 'do you ever have suicidal thoughts', so of course I say yes, because that's the truth but then I see her letter to my doctor and apart from the 'dramatisation' and 'SAD' all she bangs on about is suicide. However when she asked me I was remembering reading Albert Camus' The Myth of Sisyphus years ago and I often think about suicide in a philosophical way rather than jumping off a bridge. However reading those 80s diaries again, I find that I was thinking suicidal thoughts off and on for years but I thought this was normal, I thought everybody got low enough to question their existence but my partner (the diagnosed Aspie) says this is not the case...but I find this truly unbelievable. She says for some people this never even enters their head but again...is this really true? It seems impossible to believe.
I have the gaze aversion problem you mention but when I try and practise gazing and talking with my partner, everything just gums up and I find I can barely organize my thoughts to speak. I am also terrible for 'burning boats'. I haven't spoken to people for decades because of certain 'ethical' issues. As for immaturity, I had to go to a birthday party for my Mum recently with all the family gathered. My nephews and nieces range from 25 to 14 but I felt like the youngest person there and I had real problems staying in the room when everyone was talking at once. I felt like my mind was being melted by all the noise. Again, I read my partner's AS books (Attwood etc.) and it seems I fit so many of the typical traits but I just know it's going to be a battle with the psychiatrist. I mean she didn't even ask how I experience day-to-day life...I almost wish I hadn't bothered now.
Attwood actually says he expects there to be a deluge of older people seeking diagnoses but I wonder if there's a kind of 'rationing' going on. The most obvious Aspies pass through the gate, no problem, but the 'borderline' ones are kept out. I don't actually want any services from the NHS, I just want to make sense of all that pain of growing up. Just because you are the 'class clown' it doesn't mean you're laughing underneath all that make-up...