Published on 12, July, 2020
So basically I've just returned from my first appointment at my local community mental health centre after being referred by my GP.
I felt that the conversation I had when there was very broad and didn't really take into account any wider points, specifically more related to Asperger's. The majority of the question were about the social side of things, which I understand is obviously a big part of AS, but other characteristics affects me too and make life difficult.
All in all we spoke for only 15 to 20 minutes before she concluded I don't have AS, that I have social anxiety and depression and tried to pit me on a course of anti-depressants. She said she'd book me another appointment to see her in 3 months, and one to see a psychiatrist about the social anxiety. I declined the medication, not least because I'm not depressed, but also because I am put off by side effects and such.
I understand how social anxiety can be very closely related to AS, but I feel she didn't listen to or pay any attention to the other characteristics and such that are covered by the umbrella that is AS. Obviously some days I feel 'down' about things, but it's very far from being depressed and I feel as if they've just made an extremely quick decision in trying to offer me anti depressants before fully understanding everything.
Should I just continue and go to the appointment in 3 months, and the one with the psychiatrist, or should I go back to my GP and try and get referred to someone else who may pay more attention to me?
I probably should've mentioned, I'm 20.
Thanks for any advice/help :)
This is why it is so important to see an autism expert who can ask the right questions, test your abilities and work out if you are on the spectrum as well as any co-existing conditions you may also have.
How you are in a one to one situation where the rules are clear, can be very different to how you cope in other social situations. A whole developmental history should be taken, and ideally it would benefit you immensely if your parents could provide information.
Socially, I can put on an extremely good act in professional situations, where I have a clear role, know what is expected of me, and where it is part of my routine: volunteering at Age UK on the till, for example, or interacting with my support worker or a doctor. At home it is another matter. My parents see the most severe side of my Asperger's syndrome because I can only keep up the act for so long.
I have no real friends who are my age, or any real friends for that matter, apart from one girl who was nice to me at school - I see her just once a year, but this is better than nothing. I would like a relationship, but at the same time I don't know how I would cope because I am very self-centred, and I will admit that I am VERY demanding and have to do everything on my own terms.
I can control myself a lot better than when I was young. I had no self-awareness as a child, but I am now very self-aware. It is a myth that people with AS can't have insight into their condition!However, I often struggle to understand quite how I feel, although I know when I feel exhausted and stressed or anxious. I can have explosive tantrums and crying fits, but once I have calmed down ,I am fine again very quickly. Luckily I have so far avoided depression, but I have constant anxiety and intrusive thoughts about disease, dying, contamination etc.