Published on 12, July, 2020
(Sorry if this is a bit miserable, but I’m at a loss so I’m asking for your help). I have had significant mental health issues for the last 3 years, but over the past 6 months things have escalated following appalling ‘care’ from services. My GP is supportive but there is only so much she can do and everything I have tried (returning to work, new activities, meditation, making complaints about my care, self-help CBT, counselling etc.) has failed to improve the situation.
I have been assessed 3 times since March 2018 and each time I have been advised I require care from the Community Mental Health Team (“CMHT”), and I agree with that, but they refused to see me, blatantly lied to me and messed me around with constantly changing goalposts for 6 months, which has only made matters worse! Just what do I do now? I simply can’t carry on like this - it’s mental torture and I’ve had enough! I can honestly only see one way out, and at least it would leave one less patient for CMHT to abuse...
So, how do you keep going?
Unfortunately I can’t give u advice but instead I hope to give you some comfort in knowing your not alone. I too am struggling and like you can’t seem to move past incidents that happened over 20 years ago.
What keeps me going may be naive, but the hope things may get better keep me persevering with the intermittent bouts of not wanting to die but also not wanting to live with what’s going on in my head all the time.
I have managed to find some ways of escaping during these hard times, I rely heavily on tv, movies, and Xbox. I use these as a form of escapism and that seems to help. The only issue with relying on these though is fitting them into real life, work and relationships as these behaviour are not seen as “normal” or healthy. I also like very loud music if thoughts are overly intrusive.
I hope you sort things out, and you’ve come to the right place. Since I was diagnosed a week ago this community has already help a lot.
Thank you for your kind words, and I’m pleased to hear that you are finding the community helpful Jason.
I too find that music can help at times and I used to escape a lot with my sports, but that’s not been the case since I injured my knee last year.
I don’t think it’s naive to hope things will get better, after all, where is our proof that it definitely won’t? That thought often helps me too, and I am very determined in pursuing better usually, but sadly there are times when the depression/suicidal thoughts appear to hijack my mind and I lose all sense of hope...