(Sorry if this is a bit miserable, but I’m at a loss so I’m asking for your help). I have had significant mental health issues for the last 3 years, but over the past 6 months things have escalated following appalling ‘care’ from services. My GP is supportive but there is only so much she can do and everything I have tried (returning to work, new activities, meditation, making complaints about my care, self-help CBT, counselling etc.) has failed to improve the situation.
I have been assessed 3 times since March 2018 and each time I have been advised I require care from the Community Mental Health Team (“CMHT”), and I agree with that, but they refused to see me, blatantly lied to me and messed me around with constantly changing goalposts for 6 months, which has only made matters worse! Just what do I do now? I simply can’t carry on like this - it’s mental torture and I’ve had enough! I can honestly only see one way out, and at least it would leave one less patient for CMHT to abuse...
So, how do you keep going?
Put all that stuff into a box at the back of your mind, then unplug the cable leading to it.
Pretty much the same solution adopted by BNFL. Nirex *cough* RCF *cough*
Have you been prescribed any form of medication. I'm taking mirtazapine and venlafaxine. The two combined have dragged me up from a deep hole. It's the first time I've ever taken (prescribed) antidepressants as I'm not keen on taking pills, but it's better than feeling how I was feeling.
I really wish I could. I used to be able to shove everything down and keep on plodding as it were, but since my first mental breakdown I’ve not managed to do it again.
No, mainly as I expressed that I wanted to try talking therapies first (but they’ve turned out to be incredibly hard to access). I was supposed to see my GP to discuss antidepressants today, but the appointment was cancelled as she was off sick. I confess that I have reservations about medication, but I am desperate right now, so it might be time to give it a go.
I’m pleased you’ve found something that’s helped you. Did you find you had many side effects with the drugs?
Rubber band analogy?
These days I just do less. I get paid less, and interact with others in RL far less. I have a job now, not a career.
I did go up to 45mg of mirtazapine but it made my feet swell up, so I've gone back down to 15mg. It made me a little groggy in the mornings, but only for a few days, I gradually worked my way up to 300mg of venlafaxine, I've had no side effects on that. It hasn't stopped my hypnapompic hallucinations, but I've always had them.
Thanks for the link, it’s an interesting analogy that is accurate in some ways to myself. I do think that mental health issues are present for me too though, and that it’s not all just autistic overload.
Similarly to yourself, I’ve cut back where I’ve had to - I work part-time now, I’ll avoid certain environments entirely and I avoid social events wherever possible...I do what I’m comfortable with as I just can’t cope with any more. Still though, my poor mood persists, but I think it’s mostly because I can’t process/get over certain things that have been done to me.
I think the side effects are a particular concern for me as my body doesn’t tend to tolerate drugs well and I obviously don’t want to end up feeling worse than I already am, and that’s something I had intended to discuss with my GP, so it’s good to hear that you have managed to get a benefit from the medication without any crazy side effects!
I found Mirtazapine the most benign of the anti-depressants that I've been on; far more effective and fewer side-effects than the usual SSRIs. It did tend to sedate me rather a lot at first, though I actually appreciated that as it helped with my terrible insomnia, and it wore off (or I got used to it) after a few weeks. The main side-effect was that I had incredibly lucid and memorable dreams. They were never scary; I just woke up feeling as if I'd just watched a very surreal two hour long movie. This is known as one of the possible side-effects of Mirtazapine, but it may be that relief from my insomnia played a part, too. I found coming off them easier too; even a slow tailing off from SSRIs always gave me "brain zaps".
Of course, none of this might be the same for you; it is notoriously hard to know with anti-depressants. I do see a lot of autistic people mention that they feel they are particularly sensitive to medication, though. You can always ask your GP to put you on a minimal dose to begin with, to see how you get on; that will also reduce any withdrawal effects if you decide they're not for you.
Would you say you're obsessing over recent injustices, and struggling to move on?