Published on 12, July, 2020
(Sorry if this is a bit miserable, but I’m at a loss so I’m asking for your help). I have had significant mental health issues for the last 3 years, but over the past 6 months things have escalated following appalling ‘care’ from services. My GP is supportive but there is only so much she can do and everything I have tried (returning to work, new activities, meditation, making complaints about my care, self-help CBT, counselling etc.) has failed to improve the situation.
I have been assessed 3 times since March 2018 and each time I have been advised I require care from the Community Mental Health Team (“CMHT”), and I agree with that, but they refused to see me, blatantly lied to me and messed me around with constantly changing goalposts for 6 months, which has only made matters worse! Just what do I do now? I simply can’t carry on like this - it’s mental torture and I’ve had enough! I can honestly only see one way out, and at least it would leave one less patient for CMHT to abuse...
So, how do you keep going?
Put all that stuff into a box at the back of your mind, then unplug the cable leading to it.
Pretty much the same solution adopted by BNFL. Nirex *cough* RCF *cough*
I really wish I could. I used to be able to shove everything down and keep on plodding as it were, but since my first mental breakdown I’ve not managed to do it again.
Rubber band analogy?
books.google.co.uk/books
These days I just do less. I get paid less, and interact with others in RL far less. I have a job now, not a career.
The last few years in particular, though as I say, there have been traumatic situations throughout my life (some of which occurred nearly 20 years ago!).
For some reason, the pain just doesn’t seem to lessen and the memories don’t fade. As much as I want to forget these things, I just can’t and it’s keeping me in a depressed state.
I think part of the issue is that certain traumas have been repeated again and again by different individuals over the years (which is what mental health services have managed to do to me), compounding the original pain caused, but how do I avoid that unless I avoid existing in this world entirely?
Are we talking about something within the last couple of years? Or the last 6 months?
It has taken me quite a long time to "work various things through" myself. But with time the level of discomfort gets less. I know the proverbial "rose tinted specs" are just my brain changing my perception, but it's still a handy delusion to have.
Maybe you just need to give yourself more time than you'd imagined to get over these things?
To a certain extent yes, but I don’t think it’s just the injustices (after all, I’ve suffered these almost my entire life). I think it’s the sheer trauma/pain that the situations have caused me that I just can’t seem to forget or recover from.
Would you say you're obsessing over recent injustices, and struggling to move on?
Thanks for the link, it’s an interesting analogy that is accurate in some ways to myself. I do think that mental health issues are present for me too though, and that it’s not all just autistic overload.
Similarly to yourself, I’ve cut back where I’ve had to - I work part-time now, I’ll avoid certain environments entirely and I avoid social events wherever possible...I do what I’m comfortable with as I just can’t cope with any more. Still though, my poor mood persists, but I think it’s mostly because I can’t process/get over certain things that have been done to me.