I've been looking into psychosocial dynamics of why a developmental disorder and and a personality disorder can be so destructive to the wellbeing of both individual sufferers when in the presence of one another. They appear to operate as polar opposites in terms of dysfunctions of nature.
The solution to this is to break apart the cycle of suffering that enables the perpetuated spiral of emotionally negative transactions. Physical distancing may very well be necessary to help the situation of toxic transmissions of hate and fear.
Once separated, realisation of ones own grief is necessary to ensure that psychic losses are contained and accepted within the confines of their own environment. Only when awareness of compromised psychic defences has been realised that healing can truely take place without risk of future breakdown. Any length of intervention can only be determined by the end users decision making capacity for their own welfare.
Please note that these are my own thoughts as a male aspie that has been brought up by narcissistic mother for almost 2 decades and is still struggling with the fallout of psych-ache.
I'm puzzled, and hoping someone can explain. [Hopefully I can also avoid a torrent of abuse from you all...(!)]
It seems like nearly all of you have encountered narcissistic individuals and have horror stories to tell. But whenever I look at websites about narcissistic behaviour, they mention things like lack of empathy, anxiety and need to have things "their way"... all of which sound to me like symptoms of ASC?
Because of the sheer number of folk claiming to have suffered at the hands of narcissists, I am wondering whether the world really is full of them, or whether some of us are somehow projecting things onto others? I.e. Could it be the case that our own cognitive failings increase the chances that we will perceive narcissism in someone who is actually entirely innocent?
i did a narcissism test myself, but it said I display something called echoism, which somehow seems to be the opposite of narcissism?
An echo is someone that has some sort of relationship with a narcissist that feeds their self love. Unfortunately, due to the make up of us aspies, we involuntarily feed their self worth by giving them the attention that they crave for themselves.
They get to help themselves to us and neurotypicals can at times act as an enabler for them. When you have built up the necessary awareness around them, only then can you protect yourself from their kind and the triangulation against us.
The vulnerability is still there for myself regardless and I still have no idea what to do about it.
So how would I know? How could I tell if someone in my life was narcissistic? I looked at several of those "you know you're with a narcissist when...", websites, but to be honest I just drew a blank. I'm not sure I've ever been around someone like that.
On the other hand, everything with my ex-wife always seemed to have to be a drama. I don't know why. Clearly some things in life are dramas, but I often felt like the simplest of things would be seemingly blown out of all proportion for effect? Do any of you recognise that sort of thing?
My mother and sister were / are exactly as you describe and more. I'm not sure if I'd call them narcissists exactly but they were definitely unhealthy people to be around - and not just for me. They were damaging to anyone around them who didn't agree with them.
Having looked for reasons for all of their behaviours in the past, when it used to matter to me, I think Psychopath best described my sister. As for my mother, I don't think the ICD has a classification for Pure Evil yet.
The differences between Aspergers and narcissist.
From that page:
"Theory of mind (T.O.M) means you have the ability to understand that other people have thoughts that differ from your own."
Of course I have the ability to comprehend that other people are autonomous and have their own thoughts, independent of mine...(!)
I just don't know what those thoughts they have might be! Whenever I ask people "you look X, are you feeling Y?", they almost always tell me I've gotten it wrong...
“People with Aspergers generally are high functioning in everyday life but have great difficulty connecting with others due to the inability to read faces, body language and subtle verbal clues. They also tend to take words literally and have a hard time multi-tasking.”
Taken from an article Aspergers and the Alien,
yes we do understand others have thoughts that differ from our own.
I often misunderstand and feel I have done or said something wrong, this in turn makes me feel low, I start to believe I have caused upset, no amount of reassurance after makes me feel any better.
it Is due to constantly being wrong in many ways, a life of never getting it right. To give unconditional love and feel it is rejected, An offer to help being misunderstood as me trying to gain something from it?
I will continue being wrong as I only try to do what I feel is right.
The pain never gets less, but I can understand my actions are based on belief for others and not through a need to control or manipulate them.
There is no problem with you Lone....it is just because we have to cross the tracks to reach NTs. You’re an ND chicken, trying to cross an NT road... you’re bound to get hit or knocked down, now and again... the issue is how we process being knocked down or rejected...
Well, I guess most chickens quickly learn to avoid trying to cross the road as much as they possibly can.
Thank you DongFeng5! Been busy at work...they’ve nearly wrung this chicken dry....I think I’m what they call battery farmed...but I want to be free range!