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Eye contact-such a tricky one.

Deleted user
over 6 years ago

I don't like to make eye contact but make myself do so because it's expected when you are interacting with people. I am never sure how long is too long though, and whether I'm over compensating  or not. After all there's not making eye contact vs outright staring at someone.

Parents
  • over 6 years ago

    Good evening to you. I seem to offend people simply by EXISTING, it happens to me. Three things I list here.
    1- I once read this "trick" somewhere (in a newspaper, methinks):
    'The trick with eye contact is to at first look into one eye, and then into the other, and then into the mouth or the nose. That way, you appear as if not staring.'
    This works because THEY see your eyeball shifting, and so it cannot count as "staring" fixedly at anything (!).
    2- There is another factor which I shouldn't mention but I shall anyway (!)... whether you are seen as "hostile" or even "staring" or not... unfortunately it DOES depend upon your own particular skin-colour.
    3- If you have an official AUTISM diagnosis, then "not making eye contact" (much) is actually a part of that. So if you prefer not to look much at all, and they then (appear to) take offence, you may have a go at stating that towards your reasons why.

    I am Autistic myself, and so... well, that's it, really.

Reply
  • over 6 years ago

    Good evening to you. I seem to offend people simply by EXISTING, it happens to me. Three things I list here.
    1- I once read this "trick" somewhere (in a newspaper, methinks):
    'The trick with eye contact is to at first look into one eye, and then into the other, and then into the mouth or the nose. That way, you appear as if not staring.'
    This works because THEY see your eyeball shifting, and so it cannot count as "staring" fixedly at anything (!).
    2- There is another factor which I shouldn't mention but I shall anyway (!)... whether you are seen as "hostile" or even "staring" or not... unfortunately it DOES depend upon your own particular skin-colour.
    3- If you have an official AUTISM diagnosis, then "not making eye contact" (much) is actually a part of that. So if you prefer not to look much at all, and they then (appear to) take offence, you may have a go at stating that towards your reasons why.

    I am Autistic myself, and so... well, that's it, really.

Children
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