Does anyone think I have Asperger Syndrome? (Or have I gone mad)

To continue your analogy, I never auditioned.  I was simply born.  And it's never been fun.  I wish I could just exit, stage left.  But I can't.  I'm there, in the spotlight.  And it's never a nice place to be.

Hey you near enough took that straight out of my head.

I was never physically beaten,just mentally by teachers.I must have been lucky to have a caring open minded family.

Being myself? Who is that? Don’t know him,my life has just been one long running melodrama,

The story line has been steady but every now and then life throws in a few issues to boost ratings,The biggest problem I have as an actor is  Having to play all the characters it is hard work,several costume changes a day sometimes more.The hero saviour one minute and then the bungling incompetents who muddles his lines and gets everything wrong,

The audience I play to don’t care much for a good story line,and the writers said they don’t yet have an ending.

I wouldn’t mind but I only auditioned because I thought it might be fun,so far that has not been the case.

You definitely belong here.

I have a lifelong list of things I should have done and said to people, but I didn't.

If people are trying to take advantage of you.  Stand up for yourself and tell them to F OFF!

What about others causing harm to me because of my difference?  I wouldn't deliberately cause harm to others. Most of the time, I'm honest to my own detriment.  I'll concede to others, even if I think they're wrong - because I lack the confidence, self-esteem, whatever it is to speak up for myself.  Mainly because others have beaten that out of me - psychologically and physically. 

Others have seen fit to deliberately cause harm to me for most of my life - because I don't go along with their stupid rules and expectations.  I don't like games, I don't do small talk, I don't do silly jokes.  So, even if I'm being myself, I'm in the wrong. 

Who can I be, then?

Different you.. ,being yourself better...unless it causes harm to others x

I think that the traits you list are definitely indicative of autistic spectrum condition.  But even if they're not, I don't see them as signs of being mad.  Why does 'different from the norm' always have to be construed as 'mad'?  What's wrong with 'different'?

You probably are x joke, 

Lol most people hate my dark humor since it sounds like I’m some high functioning sociopath.

I’m glad it can’t be hid x

yep Same I’m a disguised too though with dark humour less so. (which is the only thing I can’t hide)

*Virtual hugs back*

No don’t worry I’m not offended at all I have nothing against other people’s opinions after all. I think I learnt to adapt quite well with my disguise ( I was constantly told to try harder and pushed around by everyone) and for my fluency, well let’s just say i practice although I naturally had verbal and written language issues; as in forming sentences was always an issue and my teachers are very supportive. I used to read the dictionary and thesaurus to expand my vocabulary because that’s how terrible at spoken language I was.

I am normally abnormal, sometimes sub normal. Thank heavens for my cape and anti abnormality mask that I wear so I can interface with them there normal folk....!

On a more seriouse note, I have had it said to me on here, how do you manage to write so fluently and express yourself in such a fluent manner?

The reality is if I were standing in front of you I would be mispronouncing words,stumbling to string them together,forgetting words,but on here with time to think and time to review it appears I am eloquent, I have dyslexia traits as well believing I am autistic, I have adapted over 55 years to appear so called normal, maybe to such a degree I no longer know who I am? Constantly adapting and morphing seemlessly into how I think the other person would want me to be.

 I have already said you appear kind and definitely self aware of the so called issues you have, inside you are no different than me but like you in reality face to face I struggle with social etiquette.

hope you see I am caring and that you are just fine,it is just that some people cannot see deep enough below that surface.

a virtual hug for you () 

Hi I am normally normal except when i’m Abnormally abnormal in which case I normally just act normal.

I don’t normally speak with normal people the same as I do with abnormal people but hey who’s to know which is which? From my point of view I am normal talking to someone not like me so therefore they must be subnormal.They probably think they are normal.

I thank you,,,,,,,

my writing may appear rude or upsetting but my intention was to show how everyone’s idea of being either is so very varied, I laugh instead of cry, is that nor,,,,

To jtk101 I hope you are not offended by my flippant tone, I think you are amazing and you now realise I can appear less than,,,,,,,,,,,,,,usual.

Yeah everyone’s unique but from where I am, I see people follow the mainstream way of life- which does not appeal to me.  Lol I’m probably the weirdest person you’ll ever know (considered normal but we all have different definitions of normal)

No one is “normal”....we’ve got some cracking weirdos here (joke)...and they are all amazing!

i suspect you are too! x

yes I will take the advice, that you all have taken your time to review and answer my question I really appreciate it. Thank you,  but I think I just appear as a person that is unapproachable though I don’t mean to be, yeah other people say I’m normal and that everyone experiences the issues that I have. Which really made me depressed and more anxious for solutions.

Yes I have had an AQ test and I should print it, thanks for suggesting I will definetely do all that you’ve said. Great advice it’s helpful.

Hello just wanted to say,you are not mad, I read your discription which was precise,descriptive and made perfect sense to me. The main issue here is not you but inadequate diagnosis for females, using Male criteria is fundamentally wrong. I like your writing style, I happen to think you are a very nice person, a shame others cannot see that.

be strong and please take Ellie’s advice. Good sound advice. Take care JTK101, ()