Does anyone think I have Asperger Syndrome? (Or have I gone mad)

My Aspergers my symptoms
Selectively mute (I only talk when spoken to)

Lack empathy but I do have sympathy but I have my own way of expressing it. It might seem like I’m careless

Use fake smiles to disguise I’m ok

Feeling dead inside
No dreams since I was 13

Get migraines from people’s voices

Lack guilt

Don’t know how to socialise or make or maintain friends properly or can’t start a conversation, my way of saying bye is walking away.

Can’t go outside alone without feeling overwhelmed, need someone beside me 

College classroom don’t like table layout
Eye contact is an issue

Body coordination is bad - unbalanced walking, slouching, leaning

Fidgeting with items like turning lights off and on and constantly adjusting per hour

Making schedules everyday and trying to perfect it

Physics and mathematics as daily study as It relieves me

Art - particularly drawing people, calms me down

Head jerking/ flinching

Seizures

Been like this all my life since I started nursery onwards, at home I’m perfectly fine and happiest.

I have an above average IQ

Sleep issues

Routines are important to me

What they tell me
- Asians are culturally quiet (well the ones I know are either shy or loud the shy ones still have plenty of friends and seem to understand the need to socialise, while I feel alienated, alone and misunderstood
- Girls are unlikely to have it- and they assume I have social anxiety - well guess what? Is it possible to be born with social anxiety?
- They use the male criteria to conclude whether I have Aspergers or not.
I’ve been having these issues since I was in nursery, I’ve taken anxiety medication, depressents, and other medications but non have helped me. I’m also 18, that probably why they don’t want to diagnose me.

Parents
  • Hello just wanted to say,you are not mad, I read your discription which was precise,descriptive and made perfect sense to me. The main issue here is not you but inadequate diagnosis for females, using Male criteria is fundamentally wrong. I like your writing style, I happen to think you are a very nice person, a shame others cannot see that.

    be strong and please take Ellie’s advice. Good sound advice. Take care JTK101, ()

  • yes I will take the advice, that you all have taken your time to review and answer my question I really appreciate it. Thank you,  but I think I just appear as a person that is unapproachable though I don’t mean to be, yeah other people say I’m normal and that everyone experiences the issues that I have. Which really made me depressed and more anxious for solutions.

  • No one is “normal”....we’ve got some cracking weirdos here (joke)...and they are all amazing!

    i suspect you are too! x

  • You probably are x joke, 

  • Lol most people hate my dark humor since it sounds like I’m some high functioning sociopath.

  • I’m glad it can’t be hid x

  • yep Same I’m a disguised too though with dark humour less so. (which is the only thing I can’t hide)

  • *Virtual hugs back*

  • No don’t worry I’m not offended at all I have nothing against other people’s opinions after all. I think I learnt to adapt quite well with my disguise ( I was constantly told to try harder and pushed around by everyone) and for my fluency, well let’s just say i practice although I naturally had verbal and written language issues; as in forming sentences was always an issue and my teachers are very supportive. I used to read the dictionary and thesaurus to expand my vocabulary because that’s how terrible at spoken language I was.

  • I am normally abnormal, sometimes sub normal. Thank heavens for my cape and anti abnormality mask that I wear so I can interface with them there normal folk....!

  • On a more seriouse note, I have had it said to me on here, how do you manage to write so fluently and express yourself in such a fluent manner?

    The reality is if I were standing in front of you I would be mispronouncing words,stumbling to string them together,forgetting words,but on here with time to think and time to review it appears I am eloquent, I have dyslexia traits as well believing I am autistic, I have adapted over 55 years to appear so called normal, maybe to such a degree I no longer know who I am? Constantly adapting and morphing seemlessly into how I think the other person would want me to be.

     I have already said you appear kind and definitely self aware of the so called issues you have, inside you are no different than me but like you in reality face to face I struggle with social etiquette.

    hope you see I am caring and that you are just fine,it is just that some people cannot see deep enough below that surface.

    a virtual hug for you () 

Reply
  • On a more seriouse note, I have had it said to me on here, how do you manage to write so fluently and express yourself in such a fluent manner?

    The reality is if I were standing in front of you I would be mispronouncing words,stumbling to string them together,forgetting words,but on here with time to think and time to review it appears I am eloquent, I have dyslexia traits as well believing I am autistic, I have adapted over 55 years to appear so called normal, maybe to such a degree I no longer know who I am? Constantly adapting and morphing seemlessly into how I think the other person would want me to be.

     I have already said you appear kind and definitely self aware of the so called issues you have, inside you are no different than me but like you in reality face to face I struggle with social etiquette.

    hope you see I am caring and that you are just fine,it is just that some people cannot see deep enough below that surface.

    a virtual hug for you () 

Children
  • *Virtual hugs back*

  • No don’t worry I’m not offended at all I have nothing against other people’s opinions after all. I think I learnt to adapt quite well with my disguise ( I was constantly told to try harder and pushed around by everyone) and for my fluency, well let’s just say i practice although I naturally had verbal and written language issues; as in forming sentences was always an issue and my teachers are very supportive. I used to read the dictionary and thesaurus to expand my vocabulary because that’s how terrible at spoken language I was.