AUTISTIC PEOPLE ON THE (N.A.S.) INTERNET, AND "HOW-TO" USE IT.

Hello, DC, I don't tend to offend people because I have so little self confidence that I don't say what I think to the point that I'm not always sure who I am anymore.  I would like to try to explain how you came across to me in the other thread, maybe it will help us all understand each other a bit better?

Firstly I think your use of tons of capital letters and quotation marks makes what you have written seem aggressive (I was the one who said 'shouty'); it seems like you are perfectly good at using normal punctuation to good effect, which is mostly all you need to place emphasis where required.  Depending on the device you are using there are ways of using bold and italics but I find them to work erratically, in fact a lot of things about the mechanics of this forum work erratically, you just get used to it's foibles.

On the whole people are much quicker to hit the like button, rarely is the unlike button hit, but you were a new name to me so I had no context and I found what you wrote, or rather the way you had written it to be quite rude and hurtful to the original poster, any parent of a young autistic child is likely to be quite stressed and sensitive.  I was hurt on their behalf but I understand that you have tried to explain how it was a misunderstanding rather than intention to be hurtful.

Lastly the Adult, Parent, Health etc. forums aren't really separate, on the home page where it shows most recent posts, it shows all of them from across the forums so I think many people read all or most of them and respond if there is anything they can offer, or just read and feel connected to the human race in some sense.  Under sixteens are not allowed on here for whatever reason.  You don't have to be autistic to be here, carers, friends, parents, professionals, partners along with all ages and abilities of autistic people can read and comment.  Hope I haven't offended you.

Under the field where you type (same level as Reply) there's a "Format" button which gives these options. That's on a laptop using Firefox, Chrome or Edge.

Well, I can see myself a lot in what went on today, including the realisation that I caused something I didn't mean and then trying desperately to fix it and it comes across as sarcastic or something... I hope it won't get interpreted that way. Think we have the same issue - many people would prefer to just not hear anything about the thing we did wrong, but we just can't leave it, we have to fix it, at any cost, and by trying to do so we keep digging the hole deeper. I've decided to try distracting myself with something else the next time I feel this urge, or maybe try once but no more because otherwise I'm just making it worse. I don't know yet if that's going to work, so can't recommend either way, but perhaps for tonight it's worth a try.

Guess another thing we may have in common is that we probably do realise that something will not be liked by the person it's addressed to, but because of being either very enthusiastic about it or having misunderstood something I tend to say it anyway because it seems important (and objectively seen it may really be, but is either not what I was meant to say or I write it in a way that comes across as far more offensive than I intented).

One thing I really don't like is that passive-aggressive liking business. Sometimes I think it would have been better not to add this option because everyone can say in very few words that they agree or like something. Hope it didn't upset you too much. I agree that having got the label "autistic" doesn't mean that it's o.k. to hurt others, but if it happens, usually unintented, at least in terms of severity, then hurting back is probably not going to help anyone (it certainly makes me more defensive and more the way I'm not supposed to be, guess that's quite common). That hurting back may not really be intented either though, that's probably possible. Don't think it's hate though, more a mixture of feeling hurt and annoyed and perhaps a lack of understanding more as a result of this than a general thing.

There may be another "post" from me under this, if all goes well(...), but please do tell us HOW you were able to do both itallics and bold: you do not have to state exactly the make/brand of your device, just say what it is (phone, device, tablet, laptop, desktop) and, um, maybe what the buttons looked like. I say again that you may say whatever you want, thanks very much.

I do find this forum hard to navigate around, but that is more due to the lack of structure in the discussions- I can hit reply and realise that I’ve replyed halfway through, not at the end.  I’m on my iPad and can’t see how to do bold etc - however I can do paragraphs could that b3 your issue?

I actually watch a lot of 15 rated American DVD rated TV series.  

Yet when I use similar language(swearing etc) I end up in trouble.  Official written warnings from website administrators.

And I react very negatively.

Hello, she  said in bold and italic......I often live in the autistic adult form......(sounds like a bookshop section).....or museum exhibit....when you type a word, select it...and you should get a pop up that allows you to cut, copy, paste, format text in bold, etc

do you like forums,..? Do you find the “rules, or lack of” confusing/ frustration....

online etiquette is a curious thing?....but often better than offline, analogue communication  

Robert, it is good to have you on the forum...and things can be really tough at times.....being on here has meant that I have got to know people better and can often tell when others might be low or agitated ....be kind to yourself, ASD can be tough....there will be plenty of others who won’t make it easy for you.....so be easy on yourself (if you can) 

I understand.

I offend people all the time without realising it.   Here on the internet.  On this site & others and in real life.

I say inappropriate things.  People get upset.  I swear when and where I shouldn't.  People get upset.  I'm honest People get upset.  I forget to praise / flatter, people get upset.  I threaten physical violence, people get upset.