Published on 12, July, 2020
So since I was young I always knew I was different. I didn't start talking until a lot later than other kids, I always struggled with social interactions, and there are a great many reasons why I recently have come to the belief that I have always had aspergers (I'm a 27 year old man to provide context). As I have got older I have learned many of societies rules, and I think I actually function pretty well now, at least on the outside, on the inside I feel like I am constantly managing an array of filters, filtering what goes in (at least trying to) and filtering what goes out so I don't inadvertently offend or upset someone. It's tiring...
Anyway, I realise that what I am doing most likely isn't helpful, but I feel I have to do something. I think I've become a bit obsessed with Aspergers, I've read a load about it and watched hours of videos, I always do this, when something interests me I spend hours studying it, I can't break out of it, it's like I'm drawn to it. It's one of the many things that makes me think I have Aspergers, but now it appears that Aspergers is the focus of my current obsession.
The issue is that now I have studied things I have reached the point that I am almost totally convinced I fit the bill, so much so that I now make most things fit, I can't be sure that this is what I am doing, or if things actually do fit and I'm just recognising it, I also have a problem where when I believe something I can find a tremendous amount of supporting evidence, I have done this before and later been proved to be wrong, so I accept that is a possibility in this instance.
Does anyone have any advice for me?
ForestP
You sound exactly like me, Im on the tail-end of the diagnostic process. I should know on Friday but Im pretty much self-diagnosed. I also spent a lot of time intensely focussed on what high functioning autism is which drove me crazy most days because I would think I have managed to distract myself and two minutes later Im back on the subject.
Try as much as you can to distract yourself, do something that interests you and put it to the back of your mind (Easier said than done however)
As I say at the moment Im self diagnosed, I think Im going to be confused if they tell me its not ASD as I have so many traits, my recent AQ was 47/50 (Which surprised me as it was so high)
Speak to your GP and explain everything, they should refer you to see a psychologist then. Good luck.