ASD Friendly Sex Worker - Possible Visit

I'm 30 and I've never even been on a date, let along had sex. I would personally advise waiting; it'll be a much better first time if it's someone you genuinely have a connection with.

No I haven't had any offers from my own level of looks. I've only had one offer of any type in my life but from someone a lot better looking but she had an emotional connection to me. She ended up going off with someone else when I made our relationship the talk of the town.

Frontiera said:

[quote][/quote]

Hi

I live in Wokingham. Bracknell to Reading is pretty much the only route I know. Can't you get the bus x4 or 4 from Bracknell to Reading.

I think there are people who don't care what the person looks like, especially if they're only having sex with them. Maybe they would care more if they had to marry them. Are you setting your criteria too high? Why wouldn't you be able to have sex with someone with autism, not all want a relationship. They might understand your problems.

I have aspergers, I'm ugly, morbidly obese, old (35) & weird mannerisms. Yet I still have offers of sex. Admittedly they're from sperm donors, as I'm seeking a donor.

Hi,

My criteria has changed somewhat over the years, back when I was 18 it would have been just someone attractive, now its someone attractive who wont find my 26 year virginity weird and would be able to take the lead "in the bedroom" so to speak, and be understanding of autism, anxiety and sexual inexperience. I feel the only people capable of this would be sex workers, since everyone I've told that I'm a 26 year old virgin has given me pity or looked at me weird. I just don't want an ASD sexual partner, because of my conscience getting in the way. People with ASD, high or low functioning are vulnerable adults in law and theres issues around consent. I tend to find non-ASD women are far more attractive physically, which is what I'm looking for. I guess the fact I'm not attractive is a big detriment to that.

Also, dont mean to start a debate, but since you are female you will always have sex offers, fat men barely get any, which is what I am. I've only had one genuine one in my entire life back when I was a sort of good looking college guy, before my psychosis kicked off and I had to go on meds that made me eat down the entire pizza shop every day. It was with an online friend though and nothing actually happened.

If I were to get the bus, what then? My agoraphobia would probably kill me - haha. I'm either going to get an outcall service at much expense or just ask my friend to take me. She has said it will be a belated birthday present as she didnt get me anything this year.

Anyway, once I've got the £120 needed and there are any more replies to this thread after this one, I'll update here with what the plan is.

Many Thanks

Yes, you probably will have to pay, if you want an attractive woman. Gold diggers will sleep with anyone. But it's nature to pair up with your equal. The only exception, is IF you can convince someone you have hidden talents on the inside & they can overlook your faults. But that's hard for 'normal' people to do. I suspect you've had offers from those in your position & maybe you don't physically find them a turn on. Most ASD women of your age aren't considered vulnerable, unless they have a very low IQ or suffer severe mental health problems.

It seems as if you've given this a lot of thought. Just make sure you're doing it for you & not just what you think is 'normal' & expected. You're never going to be so called 'normal', you could waste your life trying to be.

A sex worker is more likely to take precautions so she doesn't get pregnant. Whereas a drunk girl probably won't. Which makes it less likely you could end up with some drunk getting pregnant & then aborting your child. So using a sex worker could spare the death of a child. Sadly few will be pro-life though.

Good luck

Your friend sounds like a good support to you.  

Your right some Women are sexually harassed through out their lives so may not know what it's like to feel the way you do ? Unattractive to others. At least you will get to choose to loose your virginity. Some of us never had the choice.

It seems you want sex not a relationship.  That's a normal attitude at your age. At least your honest about this. But self esteem doesn't come from the act of sex.

Its not about being a real man.  What does that mean in 2016 ?

Regardless of if you sleep with a sex worker you will still have to deal with what you don't like within yourself.  

Since you described yourself lifestyle as unnatural what would be your view of natural ?

The way you approach Women is affected by the way you think about you.  Plus what you want from them.  

Some Women don't want casual sex with no emotional ties,doesn't make them your enemy. Just different from you.  

Sex workers can carry the hpv like anyone else who has had more then one sexual partner.  Condoms are not 100% safe.  uncomfortable fact.

Hope you don't take offence 

Star

Starstruck said:

I read your post & it made me wonder why at 26 you wanted to pay for sex.

No judgement intended.  

it may help you to go into detail about what you feel your not happy with when it comes to relationships ?  Is it you find it difficult to deal with others emotions or when they go through difficulties.

It may be your attitude & assumptions that put Women off.  No one Women is the same ASD or nerotypical.

You maybe right if you want unemotional attachment, while doing the most intimate act you can do with another human being.  You maybe better off with a prostitute.

Though I feel while doing that you could still work on your own personality self worth & self esteem.  These are the things that matter.  They are more important then looks.

Some Women want a Man who is faithful. Honest admits his faults,has a legitimate job. Can look after himself.  This list is not exhaustive. Lol. Can except her faults. Is not just about what he wants from her.

If your female friend is honest with you. she could give you good advice about things you could work on.

We all have things we could improve about ourselves.  Asd or nerotypical there are no perfect people.

Star

Hi,

It's because I have had zero physical contact with a woman in my entire life, and I just want to get rid of my virginity.

My female friend wants me to do it and thinks its a good idea, she knows first hand about all the things I've been through trying to get sex. The ups, the downs, the laughs etc.

One of the benefits I can think of is actually raising my self esteem after I've done it with this woman.

I haven't got time any more to change how I approach woman, as I am a one trick pony in that respect, I just want to lose my virginity in the quickest, safest way possible. Bearing in mind this sex worker has 200 feedback and recent, clean STD certificates (in the form of text messages from Royal Berkshire) that I've seen, its probably even safer than trying to do it with a drunk girl at the bar! I've never been to a bar, mind you, and don't plan to.

It's not about "not feeling like a real man". I just really crave that feeling of intimate closeness and all the benefits to health that that brings. I live a very unnatural lifestyle, I know all my brain chemicals are imbalanced, and this is the safest and most effective way to neaten them up a bit!

Many Thanks

ClaireHig said:

Hi

I live in Wokingham. Bracknell to Reading is pretty much the only route I know. Can't you get the bus x4 or 4 from Bracknell to Reading.

I think there are people who don't care what the person looks like, especially if they're only having sex with them. Maybe they would care more if they had to marry them. Are you setting your criteria too high? Why wouldn't you be able to have sex with someone with autism, not all want a relationship. They might understand your problems.

I have aspergers, I'm ugly, morbidly obese, old (35) & weird mannerisms. Yet I still have offers of sex. Admittedly they're from sperm donors, as I'm seeking a donor.

Hi,

My criteria has changed somewhat over the years, back when I was 18 it would have been just someone attractive, now its someone attractive who wont find my 26 year virginity weird and would be able to take the lead "in the bedroom" so to speak, and be understanding of autism, anxiety and sexual inexperience. I feel the only people capable of this would be sex workers, since everyone I've told that I'm a 26 year old virgin has given me pity or looked at me weird. I just don't want an ASD sexual partner, because of my conscience getting in the way. People with ASD, high or low functioning are vulnerable adults in law and theres issues around consent. I tend to find non-ASD women are far more attractive physically, which is what I'm looking for. I guess the fact I'm not attractive is a big detriment to that.

Also, dont mean to start a debate, but since you are female you will always have sex offers, fat men barely get any, which is what I am. I've only had one genuine one in my entire life back when I was a sort of good looking college guy, before my psychosis kicked off and I had to go on meds that made me eat down the entire pizza shop every day. It was with an online friend though and nothing actually happened.

If I were to get the bus, what then? My agoraphobia would probably kill me - haha. I'm either going to get an outcall service at much expense or just ask my friend to take me. She has said it will be a belated birthday present as she didnt get me anything this year.

Anyway, once I've got the £120 needed and there are any more replies to this thread after this one, I'll update here with what the plan is.

Many Thanks

I read your post & it made me wonder why at 26 you wanted to pay for sex.

No judgement intended.  

it may help you to go into detail about what you feel your not happy with when it comes to relationships ?  Is it you find it difficult to deal with others emotions or when they go through difficulties.

It may be your attitude & assumptions that put Women off.  No one Women is the same ASD or nerotypical.

You maybe right if you want unemotional attachment, while doing the most intimate act you can do with another human being.  You maybe better off with a prostitute.

Though I feel while doing that you could still work on your own personality self worth & self esteem.  These are the things that matter.  They are more important then looks.

Some Women want a Man who is faithful. Honest admits his faults,has a legitimate job. Can look after himself.  This list is not exhaustive. Lol. Can except her faults. Is not just about what he wants from her.

If your female friend is honest with you. she could give you good advice about things you could work on.

We all have things we could improve about ourselves.  Asd or nerotypical there are no perfect people.

Star

Hi

I live in Wokingham. Bracknell to Reading is pretty much the only route I know. Can't you get the bus x4 or 4 from Bracknell to Reading.

I think there are people who don't care what the person looks like, especially if they're only having sex with them. Maybe they would care more if they had to marry them. Are you setting your criteria too high? Why wouldn't you be able to have sex with someone with autism, not all want a relationship. They might understand your problems.

I have aspergers, I'm ugly, morbidly obese, old (35) & weird mannerisms. Yet I still have offers of sex. Admittedly they're from sperm donors, as I'm seeking a donor.

ClaireHig said:

Hi

I read an article a few years ago about health & social care taking adults with mental health/learning problems for visits with sex workers. There was outcry over why they had funded that but refused to provide even basic care for others. So I think funding would be an issue.

It's a shame you can't find someone else with autism who wants a similar no strings relationship. Most so called 'normal' adults don't have to pay for no strings sex. So it seems unfair.

I've never chosen to have sex. But I don't think I'd ever pay someone. They either want sex & that's their reward or they don't. If they want payment that kind of implies they didn't want sex & that's a grey area.

Hi,

I wouldnt want an ASD partner, too many problems with that. I have been going to autism social events for the past year with no success, no new friends made. Both "normal" and ASD women want nothing to do with me. And yes, I am straight (heterosexual). So I've given up going to these events or trying to meet women as I feel sex workers are the way forward. I think women are mostly turned off by my too high ambition (which isn't too high at all when I explain it), and the fact that I am not good looking in any sense of the word.

I agree about not telling my care team, but I shall consider it once medication reduction has been and gone. There IS one avenue left, but its a stretch, getting my friend from Swindon to take me, but I am in Bracknell and the sex worker is in Reading so thats easily a tank of petrol when you take into account all the journeys back and forth.

I have tried dating sites for five years and not met up with anyone. Have decided to pack that in.

I feel that the benefits of seeing a sex worker greatly outweigh any risks or negatives. It will get rid of all the jealousy about other people being in relationships (even though I wouldn't be in one, just having the best part of a relationship), it will give me a big rush of serotonin and endorphins and I will feel things that I should have when I was like 18. I can see me having a mile wide grin for months! Ask any sex worker that works with disabled clients, most will say theres a transformation!

Anyway sorry for long post - I will continue to think about it in mean time. From now on I dont want to waste time trying to be social and not getting anywhere so I hope you can see why I want to see a sex worker.

Many Thanks

Hi

I read an article a few years ago about health & social care taking adults with mental health/learning problems for visits with sex workers. There was outcry over why they had funded that but refused to provide even basic care for others. So I think funding would be an issue.

It's a shame you can't find someone else with autism who wants a similar no strings relationship. Most so called 'normal' adults don't have to pay for no strings sex. So it seems unfair.

I've never chosen to have sex. But I don't think I'd ever pay someone. They either want sex & that's their reward or they don't. If they want payment that kind of implies they didn't want sex & that's a grey area.

Hi

Would you be ok with getting a train or coach to the city where this woman works and then a taxi from the station to her place of work? I appreciate that you might still get a bit overwhelmed by the unfamilair environments. What do you think?

I think you are right about telling your care staff, its too much of a gamble. Even if they are sympathetic on a personal level they may feel its not something they can endorse on a professional level.