Not wanting to go out

Stop battling. If he doesn't want to go somewhere, let him stay home. In my experience, the only time I ever want to go out is if (a) there is no pressure to go, and (b) I'm well rested by not having been out too much recently. Every time in my life someone has pushed me into doing something because it's "good for me," my aversion to and anxiety around that thing has increased to an extreme level, until one day I snap and can't do it at all any more.

You are a great inspiration to me. I’m 13 years old and in the spectrum and I struggle a lot with going outside. It’s good to know there are other people like me that have made it out so far, thank you.

This is such a reassuring comment to read as a parent. I'm in similar situation as the post with my teenage daughter she is  home educated now as struggled for past few years at school and this has helped her get back on top of her education but was worried if she would access work environment in the future due to not enjoying outside world as much. She often says outside makes her sad. She is able to manage 1 day volunteering but it exhausting for her and takes 4days to recover.

what i found used to work with me when i was ten was have a freind i trusted to go out and play with and just have fun with i always felt safe and never felt scared of doing anything

somtimes all it take is to have a freind

The Major

My 10 year old son has problems going out or using any forms of transport ie buses trains or cars and now walking becoming difficult to, he just dosent want to leave home at all, Please if anyone has any one can give me some advice on how to make it easier .

the only reason why i dont go outside unless i have to is becaue i dont have any freinds that are like me and now people i know are saying that i should go outside but i dont want to

The Major

Thanks to cmerrick, wendyocd and Hope

It is very interesting to hear about the situation from people who have experienced it for themselves.

Thank you for being so detailed in explaining the issues faced with going out, it definitely helps to see things from a different point of view.

I can relate to this too.

I only go out if I have to, for example going out to my voluntary work or to buy something from the shops, and even then it is often a struggle.

I feel self-conscious when out and about (is this a common AS problem?) because I feel judged. Inside the house I can be me with all my eccentricities and I therefore feel in control. You never know what could happen outside and I have to be on high alert for cars and people and consequently I cannot relax. In the comfort of my bedroom I can read my books and go on the internet and I feel relatively relaxed.

I have fixed times when I go out of the house and I can't go out after 6pm without feeling very anxious.

I'm thirty years old and have Aspergers Syndrome. The way you describe your 17 year old is exactly how I have always been and still am. I like staying in and away from society. I still to this day hate having to go outside and make sure that if I do have to go outside then everything I have to do is done in the mornings so that and out of the way as soon as possible.

Please don't think that you have to force your child to be like all the other children their age.

Please also don't think that your child won't turn out to have a "normal life". I'm married with two children and currently nine months pregnant with my third child. I'm a qualified dental hygienist. As you can see, even though I don't like to go out much and stay in as much as possible - I still managed to have a job, find love, become a mother etc.

My friends know me well enough to not become offended if I don't attend all the wives functions/events. I do have friends and I do like going to the wives coffee mornings but I hate going to my friends houses and I don't like having friends round at my house.

Please don't worry too much about your son. I was and am just like him and I turned out fine. Please do not pressure your son to be more like other kids his age. Support him, let him make the steps he needs to make when HE is ready to do so. Don't ram it down his throat that he isn't normal or that the way he is, is abnormal as this isn't true. Let him be himself, let him know that you accept him for who he is and he will come to you when he is ready to make those steps such as go out with friends etc.

as an 18 year old on the spectrum, i can sympathize to some degree, having overtones of this mindset myself. if i dont need to (aka work,college etc) its very hard for me to bring myself to leave the house, for me, this is due to that fact that outside can be a bit of a sensory explosion, lots of noise, lots of smells, lots going on at once, particularly in a highstreet. another factor of me is that i tend towards feeling very self concous(i know this isnt the right spelling, but i cant remeber what is for the life of me). whenever im around even people i know, say at college, i cannot help but have a constant barrage of anxeity about that other people think about the way i look,act,speak etc. besides all that there is the simple underlaying motivation problem, because despite my best efforts i have an underlaying lazy streak thats hard to overcome(though that may just be from being a teenager). i dont know how much this relates to your sons case, but i hope i have at least helped understanding in some way if this is the case for him.

Hi

You are definitely not alone. I have a 16 year old son and I have noticed the same. He has always been reluctant to go out becoming a lot worse in the last 8 months / year.  I have no advice but sometimes it helps knowing you are not the only one.