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Not wanting to go out

glyde10

Hi I have a 17 year old son who has always been reluctant to go out if he thinks there is any choice, but in the past we have managed to create routines that help him to know what is going to happen, and help him to accept what we are going to do. Even so we've always been pretty limited to the few things that really interest him. However over the last 6/9 months he has got significantly worse and doesn't really want to go out at all. He's still at school and seems to accept the weekday routine as he know's he has to go, but anything else is a real problem and often involves a real battle, even if it's something he loves to do once he's there. Has anyone else experienced this, & any suggestions or advice on how to help him before he becomes a total recluse/ He finishes school next summer and I'm worried about what he'll do then. Thanks!

Parents

  • I'm thirty years old and have Aspergers Syndrome. The way you describe your 17 year old is exactly how I have always been and still am. I like staying in and away from society. I still to this day hate having to go outside and make sure that if I do have to go outside then everything I have to do is done in the mornings so that and out of the way as soon as possible.

    Please don't think that you have to force your child to be like all the other children their age.

    Please also don't think that your child won't turn out to have a "normal life". I'm married with two children and currently nine months pregnant with my third child. I'm a qualified dental hygienist. As you can see, even though I don't like to go out much and stay in as much as possible - I still managed to have a job, find love, become a mother etc.

    My friends know me well enough to not become offended if I don't attend all the wives functions/events. I do have friends and I do like going to the wives coffee mornings but I hate going to my friends houses and I don't like having friends round at my house.

    Please don't worry too much about your son. I was and am just like him and I turned out fine. Please do not pressure your son to be more like other kids his age. Support him, let him make the steps he needs to make when HE is ready to do so. Don't ram it down his throat that he isn't normal or that the way he is, is abnormal as this isn't true. Let him be himself, let him know that you accept him for who he is and he will come to you when he is ready to make those steps such as go out with friends etc.

  • in reply to wendyocd

    This is such a reassuring comment to read as a parent. I'm in similar situation as the post with my teenage daughter she is  home educated now as struggled for past few years at school and this has helped her get back on top of her education but was worried if she would access work environment in the future due to not enjoying outside world as much. She often says outside makes her sad. She is able to manage 1 day volunteering but it exhausting for her and takes 4days to recover.

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  • in reply to wendyocd

    This is such a reassuring comment to read as a parent. I'm in similar situation as the post with my teenage daughter she is  home educated now as struggled for past few years at school and this has helped her get back on top of her education but was worried if she would access work environment in the future due to not enjoying outside world as much. She often says outside makes her sad. She is able to manage 1 day volunteering but it exhausting for her and takes 4days to recover.

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