Published on 12, July, 2020
Reading these posts kinda makes me feel a bit better. I'm 23 and have just been diagnosed as Aspie. I'm in a confusing period of sometimes being relieved to know what's wrong etc, and angry and bitter that after years of thinking it was just depression and I'd get better, actually I'm not going to get better, and I'm going to struggle with this for the rest of my life.
I've never had a "proper" boyfriend. There are boys I've been close to, but it was never really a relationship I don't think. And for a long time I couldn't really work out why they didn't like me. I guess I know now, but since it's not something that will go away, I'm left wondering if any boy will ever like me. They always seem to see me as "one of the boys". I am a tomboy, and I am very uncomfortable in makeup, and can't find "girly" clothes that don't bug the hell out of me, so since I don't dress particularly girly, and I don't act it, I never get past the first impression. So I'm kind of down at the moment that maybe no one will ever like... *try* to see me as a girl if that makes sense. All the boys I've known were more than happy to hang out, but I guess just never saw me as relationship material, and I don't know what to do to make myself that. I don't want to force myself to dress up, cos I'd never be comfortable again. So it's tough :/ The annoying thing that I've observed is that Aspie traits in boys - whilst a struggle - can often come across as vulnerable and sweet, which can appeal to girls, but Aspie traits in girls usually make them come off as abrasive or sarcastic etc... so I almost feel like Aspie boys would find it easier to find a nice girl than Aspie girls would to find a nice boy.... please tell me I'm wrong lol