Frustrated at home...

It also has occurred to me since that television does provide examples of social situations, social interactions and behaviour.

For a child on the spectrum not managing to get many opportunities for social referencing with his/her peer group, television might provide insight and understanding of what socialisation is about.

Granted the quality of material on television is mostly inappropriate, but some programmes would possibly help people on the spectrum see and learn something about social interaction.

Another downside of not having a television is, what other kids his age want to come round to a house with no telly?

It wasn't as if I was any good at making friends, but it did rather undermine the possibility.

Television was withdrawn totally in my teens (it went in the loft). Even what I listened to on the radio was vetted.

I don't know what good it did, and I perceive it did me a lot of harm, not least because I had even less chance of having things in common to discuss with peers.

I think it was mostly about my parents' ethics. I was a bit of a wanderer so out of the house a lot anyway (but then there 'weren't the risks' identified now - there were of course).

So I'm not sure why you are ruling out television totally. And if it gives you a break to have him spending some time absorbed with TV programmes........., wouldn't that solve your current dilemma?  

Failing TV there are these hand held solid memory video consoles that have loads of cartoon stories, short films, football etc., that seem to give children something to do.

actually, its a rather common problem even amongst neurotypicals. I used to love watching things like supernanny etc, where such lack of focus and constant pester etc is very common, but also as far as what ive seen in my personal life, its not uncommon at all. However, its even more common with those with children with ADHD, cuz they simply cannot focus on anything for any lenght of time and pester constantly. It is possible you might come across some useful tips you can integrate in your daily life when looking up how they deal with adhd children, despite the different diagnosis. As ar as autism goes, or any other children like that, it generally helps to have a structured timetable when what happens and ground rules etc and its totally possible to put down a breather time for yourself.

You're right, Longman, I haven't said much about him.  He's lovely, BTW!  But I suppose the reason I haven't said much about his interests is that he doesn't really HAVE any focussed interest (apart from TV).  I'd love him to develop some sort of hobby that he could focus his attention on for hours.  He can't read, otherwise that would be a escape.  He loves lego, but only when he has a brand new set with instructions (otherwise he gets frustrated that the peices are missing and it's "wrong").  He's outgrown most of his childhood toys and not replaced them with something that takes his energy/effort.

I have purchased a lot of different items over the years in the hope of interesting him in a new activity.  He isn't interested, and perhaps that's why he's camping on top of me every time I look as if I'm settling down to gaze into the middle distance.  I think it's ASD, rather than a "Mumsnet" style question, because I suspect most children have something that they enjoy doing, or even many activities....

People on the spectrum are very focussed and need focussed activity.

Also a lack of social infrastructure means that that lack needs to be replaced by something else. He needs either an interest that absorbs his attention, or he finds some focus in television or video or computer games. Has he got any of these options?

His attention seeking and constant need for your interest may have come about because he needs your participation to do anything, and has no options to occupy himself.

Moreover, the stresses of autism mean that certain focussed activities provide a release, an escape and a means of recovery.

I sense from your original posting he has nothing of this nature.

What does going out involve? If you mean going to noisy places (sensorily disturbing) or going to places where he needs to socially interact, which presents difficulties, or environments where he fears being bullied, or is, even if you don't see it, being subjected to subtle bullying and exclusion, he might well resist going out.

However what will mystify many parents is there's little else said about your son. They will have similar experiences but might be able to offer solutions were there more information about your son's needs. You seem to be closing the options.

The sort of questions you are asking might more readily be addressed by Mumsnet.

as for the constant pester etc, i think he just bored. If could find anything of interestfor him, or maybe go out to a playground for a bit so you can sit and relax in fresh air while he can have fun..? but ofc it depends on what he likes. No point dragging him somewhere if he gona hate every second of it.

Blue, i both agree and disagree with you- unlimited tv and computer is never a good idea, and yes, too much tv can triggeror contribute to agitation, low attention span, hyperactivity, etc, but i do not think total ban is proper either. One being, as longbowman mentioned, its one of the few things to give an opportunity to join in discussions etc. My parents had a set limit of 1hour per day computer OR tv, so me and my sister at least had a chance to check whats on and make a choice whether to watch something or play a game on the computer(although unlike nowadays where theres tons of games you can just download or play in the internet, we were limited to the eductional dos games, like maths rescue, word rescue or games encouraging logic/thinking like chess and pushover etc) Although even so i often felt left out compared to others, especially if there was a film everybody as talking about and i spotted it in the tv program, but it was 2 hours long and i couldnt watch it because of the stupid ban! They did increase it later on though, first to one in the morning, 1 in the evening and then to just 2 a day, but i think the first increase want till sometime in my teens and 2nd when i was around 14-16 i think. I wholeheatedly agree unlimited accest is very bad(and have seen plenty of examples of the results it can bring), but i think a total ban isnt quite right either and i do think thee should be at least some flexibility in it. I.E, if there was a film the child really really wanted to watch and it was 2h and the limit is 1 a day, maybe give the possibility of giving up their watch time either the day before or day after(might not know the film is on till the actual day) or maybe allow half hour before and half  the day after instead of 1 every day to make up for the 2h on one day.....?

IME, the TV can trigger difficult behaviour - especially if they have unlimited access....  It leaves them feeling cranky, out of sorts, and a weird combination of anxious, agitated, aggressive, and antagonistic.  We have a family rule about it.  Well, I have a rule and nowadays nobody argues about it because they know that it's a consistent rule and they know why I set it...

Why have you banned TV?

That probably takes away any opportunities he has of being involved in discussions with his peers - that and video games...