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Frustrated at home...

BlueFlower

Hi All

I am at home looking after my 8yo ASD son.  It's half term.  And I feel unbelievably frustrated.  I was wondering if anyone can help????

I can't go out (he's refused, and I know better than to push it).  I can't get on with any jobs.  He's interrupting me every two-and-a-half minutes.  He camps on my knee.  He blocks the light.  He won't get himself absorbed in any activity (I've banned TV).  He wants attention.

Sometimes I think the answer is for me to get up and do something that he can get involved in.  Making a cake is the obvious answer but I don't particularly WANT to make a cake.

What I want to do is to breathe, slowly and deeply.  To have half an hour to gaze into the middle distance.  Perhaps think, my own thoughts, until the world seems more stable (that might take a while).  Perhaps journal a bit.  And then maybe, when I feel more whole, go out for a walk (slowly, taking the opportunity to think as I do so). 

Anyone got any tips????

Blue Flower

Parents

  • People on the spectrum are very focussed and need focussed activity.

    Also a lack of social infrastructure means that that lack needs to be replaced by something else. He needs either an interest that absorbs his attention, or he finds some focus in television or video or computer games. Has he got any of these options?

    His attention seeking and constant need for your interest may have come about because he needs your participation to do anything, and has no options to occupy himself.

    Moreover, the stresses of autism mean that certain focussed activities provide a release, an escape and a means of recovery.

    I sense from your original posting he has nothing of this nature.

    What does going out involve? If you mean going to noisy places (sensorily disturbing) or going to places where he needs to socially interact, which presents difficulties, or environments where he fears being bullied, or is, even if you don't see it, being subjected to subtle bullying and exclusion, he might well resist going out.

    However what will mystify many parents is there's little else said about your son. They will have similar experiences but might be able to offer solutions were there more information about your son's needs. You seem to be closing the options.

    The sort of questions you are asking might more readily be addressed by Mumsnet.

Reply

  • People on the spectrum are very focussed and need focussed activity.

    Also a lack of social infrastructure means that that lack needs to be replaced by something else. He needs either an interest that absorbs his attention, or he finds some focus in television or video or computer games. Has he got any of these options?

    His attention seeking and constant need for your interest may have come about because he needs your participation to do anything, and has no options to occupy himself.

    Moreover, the stresses of autism mean that certain focussed activities provide a release, an escape and a means of recovery.

    I sense from your original posting he has nothing of this nature.

    What does going out involve? If you mean going to noisy places (sensorily disturbing) or going to places where he needs to socially interact, which presents difficulties, or environments where he fears being bullied, or is, even if you don't see it, being subjected to subtle bullying and exclusion, he might well resist going out.

    However what will mystify many parents is there's little else said about your son. They will have similar experiences but might be able to offer solutions were there more information about your son's needs. You seem to be closing the options.

    The sort of questions you are asking might more readily be addressed by Mumsnet.

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