[Content warning: discussion of rape and sexual assault] –Russel Brand, GUILTY

One of the things that interests me with this thread is that with the exception of Sharon Mod, who's posting because of her job, that all the posts I can see are from men and none appear to be from women and I'm wondering why that is?

Could it be that even here women are afraid to speak up for fear of being gaslit and/or judged?

I fan day from. Experiance sadly that sometimes men don't report it because well we consent until we don't and the other guy just keeps going and we assume yes means yes evrn though we said no. 

Basicly st least in my case I felt less of a victim because I instgated sex but told the guy to stop as I was no longer feeling it bit his reply(in both cases as it happened two times sadly)  was I just need to. Finish

It was years later I figured out what had actually happened and it's was too late to do anything about it asni didn't have enough info on the men involved but luckily i moved past it and future sexual encounters with both genders went better. 

I think it shines a light on laddish culture of the 90s. Boys were boisterous and sensitive. Girls also, but with drugs and alcohol thrown in, it was always volatile. Brags between mates become mission statements, and stupid decisions get made. Lives get ruined. There's a shoegaxe song all about it somewhere.

With Russell you had King Lad: an articulate, yet arrogant comedian who can be disarming and charming, but with a mission in his trousers constantly! People think, "oh that's Russell, innit? He's a birruva geeza innit? He likes the ladies, knows his to use the banter!"

But, Russell knows he could, because he was a star, go that but too far, push for bonus XP on his mission. People usually get hurt in these situations: innocent people.

I had my doubts about him. I found him to  quite amusing, although the film Forgetting Sarah Marshall just showed his Russell's rock star character needed no acting, at all!

He fooled me!

Brand is the first celeb in a while who has deserved the hate he's had but it gets me wwhen allegations come forward that are not yet proven and people "cabecel" Them or when people treat something like workplace misconduct on the same level as rape when they're two diffebt crimes that require diffrebt sentacing. 

But brand on his YouTube channel did come across as arogant and thinking he was above the rules of society 

And I'm glad each case is being heard seperatly as the sentance he serves overall should be based on individiual charges 

You could make a top 10 list of horrifically unfunny mid 2000s comedians who are absolute muppets in real life, and could put Brand as low as 7 with a straight face. 

Press injunctions should have died with "Gyan Riggs" in 2011, along with his poetry as well.

It's just awful.

TheCatWoman said:

Another thing that many don't realise is how many men are raped by other men

There remains a huge amount of shame around being the victim, having performed what is seen as a gay act and not being able to defend themselves - at least for many men.

For this reason many will not report it for fear the will be thought less of by their partner and/or peers.

Another thing that many don't realise is how many men are raped by other men and it's not always a gay thing either, but the same power dynamics as when men rape women

Good. He always struck me as being arrogant, entitled and unpleasant, so hearing about the accusations was not a surprise, neither is his conviction.

TheCatWoman said:

Would the same apply if you were drugged?

It depends on the drug - most would cause the physical response to be muted as well.

Just to be clear I was not unhappy about it, it just felt off that if I had done the same thing then I would have potentially been at risk of being accused of sexual assault whereas society would laugh at a man reporting the same thing if it was done to them.

That is why I talk about responses being cultural in nature - men are thought to be lucky if it happens to them where women are seen as victims when it is really the same for both.

The only real sexual assault I experienced was at uni where a friend of my girlfriend really wanted to have sex with me and would not leave me alone. She was going through a bad break up and I think saw me as a safe option but the unwanted groping, kissing and lewd suggestions had a very unsettling effect on me.

I could shut her down by telling her to stop, that I was being abused and this would lead to her being upset and quite possibly telling some story to my girlfriend about how I was the instigator, or I could try to talk her down and get her to see reason.

[post edited]

I can see how quickly such a thing can get out of hand.

TheCatWoman said:

I've heard of one woman in the US who's alleged to have used their position to abuse, but thats all I know.

The following link has statistics on the sort of thing you are referencing:

https://www.nsvrc.org/statistics/statistics-depth/

Please be aware that it contains some distressing information so do not click it if you are sensitive on this subject.

Some key figures:

- Nearly 1 in 5 women (18.3%) and 1 in 71 men (1.4%) in the United States have been raped at some time in their lives

- 15% of female rapes are by a stranger

I agree about consent. One wonders what clothing would acceptable to those who believe that what a woman wears invites rape. I once had this sort of conversation with an incel and it seemed to stop just short of a burkha, because men have the right to appreciate a womans body apparently.

I'm sorry you woke up to that, if you were unhappy about it, it's not something I would personally consider doing, in fact it would never occur to me to do so. 

Would the same apply if you were drugged?

TheCatWoman said:

Please excuse my ignorance, but physically could an unconcious man maintain an errection long enough?

I have been woken by my partner performing oral stimulation on me on more than a few occasions and found myself erect apparently from some time before I actually woke.

A healthy man is unlikely to have a problem with responding this way if they can also respond similarly to physical stimulation when awake. 

TheCatWoman said:

Theres also a massive diference between fantasy and action.

I agree, but the factors that influence this abuse are often cultural and moral in nature. I have had to tell my mother off numerous times when the news covers a rape and she would say something like "wearing that dress she was asking for it".

Until we can normalise consent being required then it will remain a case of abuse being considered a reasonable response by the perpetrator.

I can understand that a man might feel pressured into sex and even if able to function may feel extrememly uncomfortable about it and may feel distress and trauma in the same way that a female rape victim would. One of the problems I think is that many still have the idea of a rapist as being someone who jumps out and grabs someone, but thats by far the minority, the majority of rapists are known to the victim, who often feel quite safe and have a resonable expectation of being safe, right up until the attack. It could be your friends partner, or a family member, a work collegue.

I've heard of one woman in the US who's alleged to have used their position to abuse, but thats all I know.

And do you have evidence that women abuse on anythig like the scale men do?

Theres also a massive diference between fantasy and action. Some reports I've read about womens sexual fantasies do often include a wish to be unconcious but somehow also aware or even of being forced to have sex in a very romatic fiction sort of way. Its often been posited that women feel pressure to consent, to not consent and not to enjoy sex or to enjoy it in a particular way.

Please excuse my ignorance, but physically could an unconcious man maintain an errection long enough?

I don't think women can legaly rape men? I agree that some women are bad, but unfortunetly it is a much, much higher proportion of men that commit sexual and violent crime. I have also yet to hear of a female TV or radio celeb that has abused their position to abuse women and children. 

That's what a lot of people don't seem to get tbh. Men AND women are both capable of doing horrible things such as murder, rape and abuse, but the media seems content with portraying it as an exclusively male thing, which is very harmful, if you ask me

TheCatWoman said:

Apparently its quite a common fantasy among men, to want to have sex with an unconious woman!

I was surprised to hear this so I did a little digging:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Somnophilia

A 2015 study with a sample of 1516 participants reported that 22.6% of men and 10.8% of women have fantasized about "sexually abusing a person who is drunk, asleep, or unconscious

So it is not just a male thing - about half as many women as men have the same fantasy.

I have had 2 long term partners who expressed a desire that I do such a thing with them but I always felt it was wrong - no clear consent means no to me and you cannot consent if you are not awake and lucid.

I am glad that Russel has been finally locked up - this seems to have been a very long time coming.