Statistics?

Hi Flowers,

Thank you for sharing what has been happening. I’m really sorry that you have been feeling frightened, unsupported and unable to cope.  I can see that other members have already offered you some kind and thoughtful support, and I’m glad people have responded and shown that the community cares about you. I can also see that you have contacted the Samaritans and your GP for help before but felt misunderstood. I’m sorry to hear this. 

The Community can offer peer support, but we are not able to provide crisis support or keep someone safe in an emergency. If you’re finding it hard to cope or have thoughts of harming yourself, please seek help. If you feel you or anyone else is at risk of immediate harm, dial 999 or contact one of the mental health crisis lines listed on our Urgent Help Page: https://www.autism.org.uk/what-we-do/help-and-support/urgent-help

You can also contact NHS 111, your local crisis team if you have their number, or Shout by texting SHOUT to 85258. Even if Samaritans did not feel right before, you can still call them again on 116 123 if having someone stay with you on the phone would help while you try to get urgent support. 

You deserve help with this. Our community is on your side and you do not have to manage on your own.
Sharon Mod

Deep hurt will take a while to heal, especially if you're still suffering. You just need to take one step at a time and keep in mind that things can change, even if it feels impossible. 

Have you read 'Hand n the sparkle Jar'? It's by Chris Packham, and he talks about some severe difficulties including suicidal Ideational. It's good to look at people who have been that low, and see how they manage. It helps to know your not alone in your feelings, but can lean on others to find small things, even if they are microscopic at first.

The first call is a big step, but no one expects you to be fine just after that. It's okay to need to call again, and again. It's tiny steps, keep moving forward. 

After I got diagnosed, my husband had been listening to a podcast I recommended, and heard that statistic too and got worried about it. I was able to assure him I was okay, but it can be hard to hear that stat, but it's meant to try encourage professionals to treat autistic people better than a lot currently do. Just use statistics to your advantage in getting help. If you struggle with volume, try maybe write things down instead? 

Take care Flowers 

I ring Samaritans. But not Autistic. Don't know ostracized and abused for existence. I don't want survive. If don't belong. I'm alien.

I tried make friend, told them my problems. They assaulted me. Everyone wants hurt us. We're less so they can do anything to us. I don't want be less.

Always tried control tone and volume to point barely speaking. This week told shouting in Drs but they didn't put on notes. Made out tried help me. Just threatened me with Police but I couldn't control volume. Needed help. So humiliated. TV makes look we get help, even getting loads money from benefits. I just get abuse.

[Content in this post has been removed by the moderator because it included details that could be distressing for other community members.]

I've changed GP several times, treated like attention seeker. Supposedly waiting for ND help but now have change GP again that will be lost. I'm not exaggerating own family think easier I'm gone. So many signs growing up struggling. I wasn't helped just hit to be quiet. Nothing like today. Same people in life now silencing me now. Can't escape cos no money, scared be homeless. Diagnosis made everything worse. Mum treating me like something bad in me. Can't leave, no home. No one believes because I masked when young to reduce abuse. Less noticed less abuse. Only way stop and rest is be over. Told Mum I'll do today and still leaving me.

It was not based on participants opinions it was facts of how autistic people had did. Not tried to, they're dead. 11 per cent is how many of whole population suicide are autistic. I was given a diagnosis, received no or less help and I finally know I was right. I'm fighting losing battle. People closest think better I go. Gets worse. At least now I have some control.

I was told I'm nothing. Without diagnosis. Just something wrong with me. Iv never worked properly, everyone has left me. I'm suicidal severely and Dr won't help and one family member has told me go A&E where can't help and treat me terribly so they can go to a lunch (for no special occasion) with their conscience they didn't leave me alone. Obviously they want me dead. I'm a nuisance. I'm hanging on here. I'm really not attention seeking. I'm terrified. I don't want hurt myself but am old enough to know it won't get better. I'm not normal and no one around me thinks I'm worth staying alive. No one would carry on like this. I can't explain the fear. It's physical, shaking, sweating. 

Flowers said:

But triggers and things

If you need to talk about it then talk - there will be people who are upset almost no matter what you say so don't let it hold you back.

Stay within the rules of the site and you will be fine - don't let people with different opinions silence you.

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 50 and I'm 64 now.

If your GP is horrible then its fairly easy to change to a different practice, find a new practice that will take you on, some are so busy they've pretty much closed their lists and ask to register, they do pretty much all the rest, you don't have to ask anyones permission. Is there another Gp in your existing practice you could see?

One of the problems with these sort of trails is that the participants are self selecting, as Alexa said and even though it was over a thousand people, they're not the whole of the autistic population. Obviously we have the same griefs and horrible happenings as everyone else and we all react differently, ND and NT's, suicide is not inevitable for us or anyone else.

I hope you find some comfort from being here and in life in general.

I used to be suicidal in my past. I understand how awful it feels. I was not being taken seriously and badly bullied. But there were things that saved me - my special intrest and inner world. I decided it's worth to live to enjoy doing my favourite things. Please seek help, we may not be able to help online.

Flowers said:

I read 40 percent of us die by suicide.

The survey that produced this statistic does NOT say that 40% of autistic people die by suicide.

The survey was about policies to prevent suicide among autistic people. It asked for autistic volunteers who were interested in suicide prevention to participate in the survey. It advertised via social media and charities such as Autism Action and 1191 autistic people took part. Obviously all those who took part were interested in the subject and therefore those not interested in the subject of suicide did not.

Of those 1191 who took part in a study about suicide, 40% said they had attempted suicide. Obviously, they did not succeed or else they would not have been able to complete the survey.

This is the survey.

Another report estimates the actual suicide rate is around 11% of autistic people. This is still shockingly high, but nothing like 40%.

Please, if you feel suicidal at any time, ring the Samaritans.

Hi Flowers, welcome to the forum. I,m sorry things are really hard and your feeling scared. Its ok to feel like this after recent upset and reading upsetting statistics. Cinnabar_wing has provided some good resources if you need more instant support.

Statistics regarding autism can be difficult to read as some do suggest poorer life expectancy,quality of life etc. However, the data is often selective in some way and not 100% accurate. 

I read something similar about poorer outcomes for those with Autism which upset me. However, statistics are not the only measure of things and do not condemn us to any particular path. 

To give you abit of hope in that regard,i will share abit.  Im 41 years old and just diagnoised Autistic a month ago. I was told growing up due to various factors i would not get good grades or make college. I got good grades and have a degree. Growing up my mother was extremly ill and given a single digit percentage chance of survival after a rare procedure-she is still alive today much to the amazement of experts. I was told certain professions i could never do due to medical history and trauma , i did said profession for 16 years and have medals and an exemplary service certificate. I met someone who gets me, and married her and have been happily married 13 years. Have i really struggled at times, yes, severley. But I know im lucky for what i have, everything i have shared above i was told would never happen by various professionals, alot of whom were using statistics as the basis of what they were saying. 

My point is we are more than statistics, and just becuase someone writes or says something doesnt always mean its destined to happen. Of course there will likely be challenges and potential unfairness along the way as we find our path, but im sure you will find alot of resilent people on this site who at one time or another have felt similar to you, I certainly have. 

Sorry for the long reply, hope its of some help/comfort. 

Please do what you need to look after yourself,

Hey, this is a message board, so people don't get back to straight away, it can take a few days to get responses (and it tends to be quieter at night too)

I think knowledge is really important in respect of this static, it's definitely not inevitable, but with more knowledge and more connection built I believe it can make a difference. 

If you need more instant chat, I'd suggest:

Samaritans call 116 123 any time of day or night

Shout text SHOUT to 85258

And here where a few more posted.

 RE: Helplines 

I'm getting my kids to bed currently, and but it's a topic worthy of discussion! Both from what the statistics mean and how to improve that static from within the community with better wellbeing from people who understand.

I read 40 percent of us die by suicide. I know it's bad, but I hoped one day if meet someone gets me but this is inevitable 

Welcome to the community, Flowers  whenever you feel ready to discuss the topic that concerns you, you can post. It's our space for support, sharing and more. I hope you find support and like minded people here. 

But triggers and things