Making friends/loneliness

Yes as Rayyah said. It's a free app: a white M on like a pinky background. 

I thought my complete lack of friends was due to moving around so much as a child - I got used to people disappearing after a year or so, I thought this was normal?

I'd have weekends of just not seeing anybody until I went back to work. I think I just got used to being alone.

I'm in my mid 60's now, and nothing much changed - though I do have a partner - they seem to have more friends than I do.

Strange, because what feels rewarding to me now is meeting people. I never used to enjoy it but now it seems to be part of the delight of life. I guess I learned to appreciate people. Sigh, could have done with that when I was in my twenties.

I think the app is called Meetup - hence is is written with a capital "M".

Can I ask what that app is please cause I also want to meet people to create a social group 

Hi Tetra,

I really get this. I have, since assessment and diagnosis last week been feeling this loneliness and apartness from the world more acutely. Looking at friendships I've lost - well I would make them and then be ghosted, or they would end and I wouldn't understand why. Then on social media seeing them post and share about their closest friends and how rejected and confused I would feel. Like watching the whole world experience the bonds and not understanding why I wasn't included, or I couldn't do the same.

I sit in a cafe with my noise cancelling headphones, writing wordplays and getting completely  immersed in my creative writing and then look up after I don't know how long and it's kind of a spacey feeling - looking around and noticing the tables are more full of people. These beings multi tasking, reading menus, talking, laughing loudly, with no headphones on, not seeming to struggle with the lighting. All blabbering away. I feel like I'm invisible or in a bubble, but like a completely different specie. I'm a 49 year old female and I've always felt this way. Just now that I know I'm autistic, I'm feeling all the times I've felt like this at once almost and it spaces me out more. I don't know if that makes any sense?

Yesterday I joined some Meetup groups - I got the app on my phone. It's too soon to say if I'll find anything useful on there, but there are groups for women on the spectrum and other neurodiverse groups; so I am hopeful. Finding this forum is helping too - like you, I am new to it.

I'm sure others will have more suggestions than me, but I wanted to reply to tell you that I feel this way too.

I hope you also find some things that help. Be great to hear how you get on.

 tetra it's been a few days since you posted this. How are things going? 

I'm very sorry for the late reply. But arts and writing sound very peaceful and genuine. There is that initial joining phase which can be daunting, but it may be someone else's first time to a new experience soon. Groups like that will always enjoy new members :) 

Apologies to jump on something you have already replied to, but I see by one of the replies that you enjoy Zelda. Although I have only played a few of the series, specifically, 'A Link To The Past', 'Ocarina Of Time', 'WindWaker' and 'Breath Of The Wild' (and not all to completion), each have made an impression on me. I tend to enjoy the older style of the earlier entries, as the number of mechanics in the newer entries can feel overwhelming. I also tend to prefer the older style of graphics from earlier entries; simpler but still detailed in their own way. 

May I ask what you enjoyed about Windwaker? 

I feel the exact same way

That's awesome

I've probably played all of them but only beaten some of them. 

I didn't care for the two on NES much but I loved Awakening and Oracle of Seasons/Ages on GBC. I liked Minish Cap yet never finished it for some reason, same with oracle of time. I've always wanted to play Majora's Mask more so for the atmosphere and aesthetic opposed to the gameplay. Didn't play Twilight Princess or Skyward Sword (always wanted to play that one).

I loved BOTW but for some reason I never enjoyed TOTK and put it down within a few hours. I'd say BOTW and Awakening are my favorites (haven't played the Awakening remake though)

Thank you, I feel tightly hugged by your post.

It's a great idea- we'll do some work on using pinned threads to direct people to really great content on commonly asked questions and seek the input of community members to help select which threads to pin. 
Thanks so much for sharing!

Sharon Mod

Thank you so much for replying, I really appreciate it!

I definitely think I need to get into more stuff, I do a lot of art and writing but there never seems to be any clubs running near me. Maybe I should check out the local library and see if they do stuff - it just feels very daunting to be that outsider coming in, but I guess sometimes that's the only way 

Yes I relate to this - I was pulled out of school and homeschooled as a kid as well so it feels like a lot of people have friendships leftover from school, but I don't. I did make friends at uni out of necessity (living together) but they've kind of faded a bit. As i get really big hyperfixations I often try and join fandom spaces but even that is just so hard, everyone seems to already have their cliques and it feels impossible to form any friendships. Ugh. It's just hard in general.

Also yes, I love wind waker!! They've ported it to switch 2 I think! So I'm hoping to replay it soon. The Wii U is so clunky so i feel like a lot of people missed out on WW, which is a shame because it's such a good game, definitely underrated imo. Do you like Zelda too?

Thank you   I'll have a look and see if I can find any community events! I definitely second a pinned thread - i think just this one has kinda shown that a lot of us here are pretty lonely. It might be a nice way to connect 

Thank you so much for this, I've been recommended asking for a social prescriber before but I was always a bit nervous to look into it - maybe I need to just rip off that band aid! I'll definitely have a look at these links

Thank you so much for this reply. You made me tear up a bit reading it. It's really comforting to hear, especially when there is such a pressure to have loads of friends - i mean even in movies and tv, everyone seems to have a big group of people and maybe that isn't realistic and maybe that's okay.

You're definitely right about needing to be my own friend first. I struggle very much with negative thinking - so maybe focusing on myself will be a better thing to prioritise. 

Thank you so much again

Thank you so much  I'm definitely going to try and find some local clubs and things. It's hard when you feel a bit weird, especially because there are no ND groups near me, but maybe I should try and put some feelers out there myself

I really really relate to this. It's so hard to find a balance between pushing yourself and also taking care of yourself, especially because people can be so exhausting at times. It's really tough when you feel overwhelmed but you are also starved for friendship. If it helps, you're definitely not alone. 

Sidenote: I think what you've said about your imagination is really beautiful and poetic