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Making friends/loneliness

tetra

Hi Wave  I'm a bit new so please be patient with me:)

Something I've struggled with my whole life is making friends and finding likeminded people. Lately I've felt so much more isolated than usual and I feel a bit hopeless.

I'm 26 but every time I try and make friends or socialize with people, I feel like I'm that weird, lonely 13 year old again who doesn't have a place anywhere, and although it feels embarrassing to even say, I'm really, really lonely. Everyone around me seems to have friends and I just don't get it. 

It's so hard to make friends as an adult. How do you even do it? Where do you even go? Does anyone else find this really difficult? 

Parents

  • How do you make friends when you dont do small talk,I get confused in my mind and just don't talk and walk off even though id love to talk I dont know what to say. 

  • in reply to pete1047

    I hope this helps, Pete. For decades & even as far back as primary school. It would really confuse me how people interacted. ‘Pack mentality’ used to take place in primary school and many “adults” still behave like they are still in primary school. The way I observe people just steamrolling over others and no one bats an eyelid - is strange to me. Superficial conversations and playground jokes being told! No thanks. 

    Nowadays, since having the blinkers off. Just being who I’m meant to be and if anyone or little clicky groups do not like it. Then that’s their problem. Try not to overthink it and most importantly, be your own best friend. Forcing it or conforming to the perceived “normal” just doesn’t work in the long run for many ADHD/ASD people,IMO. 

    Be overly kind to yourself & treat others how you would like to be treated and you will draw in likeminded people. Being relaxed in your own skin is where happiness can be found. Trust me, we have been masking for years. But, there are also millions more who have bolted on masks. 

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  • in reply to pete1047

    I hope this helps, Pete. For decades & even as far back as primary school. It would really confuse me how people interacted. ‘Pack mentality’ used to take place in primary school and many “adults” still behave like they are still in primary school. The way I observe people just steamrolling over others and no one bats an eyelid - is strange to me. Superficial conversations and playground jokes being told! No thanks. 

    Nowadays, since having the blinkers off. Just being who I’m meant to be and if anyone or little clicky groups do not like it. Then that’s their problem. Try not to overthink it and most importantly, be your own best friend. Forcing it or conforming to the perceived “normal” just doesn’t work in the long run for many ADHD/ASD people,IMO. 

    Be overly kind to yourself & treat others how you would like to be treated and you will draw in likeminded people. Being relaxed in your own skin is where happiness can be found. Trust me, we have been masking for years. But, there are also millions more who have bolted on masks. 

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