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Making friends/loneliness

tetra

Hi Wave  I'm a bit new so please be patient with me:)

Something I've struggled with my whole life is making friends and finding likeminded people. Lately I've felt so much more isolated than usual and I feel a bit hopeless.

I'm 26 but every time I try and make friends or socialize with people, I feel like I'm that weird, lonely 13 year old again who doesn't have a place anywhere, and although it feels embarrassing to even say, I'm really, really lonely. Everyone around me seems to have friends and I just don't get it. 

It's so hard to make friends as an adult. How do you even do it? Where do you even go? Does anyone else find this really difficult? 

Parents

  • Hi Tetra,

    I really get this. I have, since assessment and diagnosis last week been feeling this loneliness and apartness from the world more acutely. Looking at friendships I've lost - well I would make them and then be ghosted, or they would end and I wouldn't understand why. Then on social media seeing them post and share about their closest friends and how rejected and confused I would feel. Like watching the whole world experience the bonds and not understanding why I wasn't included, or I couldn't do the same.

    I sit in a cafe with my noise cancelling headphones, writing wordplays and getting completely  immersed in my creative writing and then look up after I don't know how long and it's kind of a spacey feeling - looking around and noticing the tables are more full of people. These beings multi tasking, reading menus, talking, laughing loudly, with no headphones on, not seeming to struggle with the lighting. All blabbering away. I feel like I'm invisible or in a bubble, but like a completely different specie. I'm a 49 year old female and I've always felt this way. Just now that I know I'm autistic, I'm feeling all the times I've felt like this at once almost and it spaces me out more. I don't know if that makes any sense?

    Yesterday I joined some Meetup groups - I got the app on my phone. It's too soon to say if I'll find anything useful on there, but there are groups for women on the spectrum and other neurodiverse groups; so I am hopeful. Finding this forum is helping too - like you, I am new to it.

    I'm sure others will have more suggestions than me, but I wanted to reply to tell you that I feel this way too.

    I hope you also find some things that help. Be great to hear how you get on.

  • in reply to 444tism

    Can I ask what that app is please cause I also want to meet people to create a social group 

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