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Recently diagnosed and struggling with work

Ma3ryn

Hi everyone,

I got my autism diagnosis in November last yeah and then got my adhd diagnosis in march this year. I am in full time work in a very peopley job. I disclosed my diagnosis and things to my boss when i got them and initially she was very supportive. However she seems to struggle with the idea that i might need some reasonable adjustments. She thinks that, because I've gone so long without my diagnosis, that i've been fine until now so why do i suddenly need this support. I've tried to explain its more so that i can function better and be better at my job and not burn out but she doesn't seem to understand. When i talked about how i feel more autistc now i have my diagnosis and autstic skill regression she said that if people know theyll regress after their diagnosis why would you get diagnosed? and that kind of bothered me. I feel like i'm finding things harder, getting more emotional and coping less and it makes me feel stupid.  I feel like i can't ask for adjustments because i'm being seen as attention seeking and being difficult when i coped fine until i've got my diagnoses. I just feel awful and a burden and I don't really know what to do. 

  • Hello  

    I'm sorry to hear that you've had this issue at work and it has made you feel like a burden. Unfortunately many people can feel this way when disclosing their Autism to their workplace. You may find it useful to have a look at our information on the NAS on ways to navigate employment, which includes support you should be entitled to at work and what you can do if you're having trouble at work: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/employment

    I hope this helps,

    Chloe Mod

  • I asked for adjustments after my diagnosis, one of which was being able to wear my earplugs. Asked why, i said i function better with less noise. I can focus better. Do my job better. I won’t have to hide in the toilets frequently to try and regulate. So Instead of suffering in silence, which is an ironic statement, i decided to ask for that adjustment. Permission granted. I also requested not to wear the headsets as the constant noise in my ear was making me so angry i was dreading coming to work.
    For that one, i did get a letter written by my therapist which mentioned the Equality Act of 2010. Basically, employers must make reasonable adjustments to support employees with Autism and other disabilities.
    If she fails to listen to you, get a letter written and mention the Equality Act of 2010. When they see stuff like that, it’ll spook them and they know they have to legally make “reasonable” adjustments. All the best.

  • I’ve been exactly in this position. In one case a very experienced team leader/manager but who “thought he was autistic or something” and it got a lot worse. The trouble is most managers aren’t actually trained to managers or people persons. But. I have had a great manager too but he left. I feel it’s the luck of the draw.

    what  I’d suggest is really being self analytical and what you find hard. Surprise meetings? Meetings with no agenda? Lack of detail in instructions? Then think what would make that easier for me? Those are your discussion points for reasonable adjustments.

    i hope this goes well for you.

  • in reply to Ma3ryn

    I know what you mean. The link that pinkchocoholic has given you has helpful information and a link to ACAS giving you useful quotes. I would also explain the effect that work has, as you have explained above. 

    You might also find it useful to look at what is said about masking.

    I hope your boss is able to understand the need when they have more information.

  • in reply to Homebird

    Thank you, I guess i just feel like they don't believe me when I say its hard but a different level of hard than what is experienced by the majority of people where i work. It's more like, I'm not on a support plan, I seem to be ok, so why should i need extra support. When I want to say yes I am functioning ok at work but when I get home i cannot do anything at all, can't clean or cook a proper meal or wash or anything I just have to sit and be quiet and still for hours because my brain doesn't work at the end of the day. 

  • I am sorry you have had this experience. I have worked at my place for a long while and appeared to cope, but things got harder until I had my first burnout. This is when I decided to go for getting a diagnosis. I am currently waiting for a response regarding my request for reasonable adjustments and have prepared explanation of why my difficulties were not previously apparent. I sent an email explaining what going into work is like for me, but unseen by others. There is some useful information on this website and also ACAS. If you are able to explain this in writing and they don't do anything, you will see guidance of what you can do next.