Are autistic people nice people?

I often feel I am too nice or overshare with people who don’t deserve it, in addition to this I feel like I’m targeted for being different. I believe nd hold all the keys for making a better world their ideas are often taken and misused to the wrong ends by society or higher powers. I can provide many examples of this throughout history, sometimes I go out like today and receive a ridiculous amount of animosity on the street, in my view all nt and closed minded to difference. It’s not about looking at average numbers of people it’s about getting ‘normal’ people to think differently about the way they are behaving towards others.

Nice is something you can learn or pretend to be, human nature on the whole as a statistical thing is not nice at all.

I think everyone is an individual.

Extrapolating from anecdotal evidence, based on small sample sizes is risky.

There's also the issue of statistics.

If 25% of people are not nice, and 2% of the population are autistic, if you meet 1000 people:

• 980 are NT
• 245 NT are not nice
• 20 are autistic 
• 5 are not nice

For every 50 not nice people, only 1 will be autistic. This will skew your perception. Most not nice people are NT, because most people are NT, but the ratio is the same. Some not nice people may be undiagnosed, but you can't tell 

You could take an autism forum, but here it is a self-selecting group. Most not nice people may not join. Moderators may remove not nice people.

I think it is hard to tell. Also nice is too vague a word. You need more specific words, caring, polite, considerate of others, etc. But these things also depend on context, so it becomes quite hard to answer.

(2) Another take. Are neurotypical bad people?  Well I’ve met more that are than aren’t, the good ones are also susceptible to corruption and being exploited by the group, because they require the dopamine hit that acceptance gives them - they often over look one of the most basic principles of civility (acting like a decent human being).

There is a sub-set of autists who are people-pleasers. To some extent, I am one myself. Having spent a lifetime trying to fit in, by observing how allistic people behave, we have a very heightened awareness about how we are perceived by others and go out of our way to give a good impression, by being amiable and are always preemptively heading off any chance of friction or confrontation. Are we nice, or just phobic of all varieties of antagonism?

Rick from Rick and Morty kinda comes to mind, too. He's canonically autistic, and although he's a complete a**hole to everyone, it turns out he cares a lot about them to the point where he cares TOO much about them for his own good, hence why he acts like an a**hole to them in the first place

Haha, you are very right. I think I portrait myself as a b#£&@, but I am actually nice deep inside. People at work nicknamed me Maleficent but they all say that I am a lovely person and just play mean because is fun 

I sometimes wonder if ‘nice’ actually is the NT term for NT/non-autistic: I have been an extremely hard-working person and have always gone above and beyond to help others in need but, while they always accept my work or help, they will never return it with friendship. Its almost as if NTs sub-consciously detect and reject autistic people as not being ‘nice’, i.e., the very definition of ‘nice’ is ‘not autistic’.

I used to speak slowly like you described,  as I'm aging it became a bit better. I used to hate my own voice because of this- slow flay speech. I had impression that I listen to a disabled person (myself in recording)

Rule 7 reminder Be respectful in discussions thanks 

Wow. That must've been... fun

Not so fun fact: I actually became suspicious of my own Autism by falling down that rabbit hole. So unfortunately I have Chris-Chan to thank at least partially for me finding out.

I have not but I thank you for giving me this example. 

Ever heard of Christian/Christine Weston Chandler AKA Chris Chan? Actually, just... don't look that up. that's a real rabbit hole. Point is, they're an example of an autistic who's a jerk

Very predictable 

I would like to remind you of the Online Community Rules. 

Rule 7: Be respectful in discussions
Disagreements are fine, but personal attacks, insults, and swearing are not. Respect other viewpoints and avoid escalating arguments.

I was genuinely trying to understand your view by asking for examples, because you engaged with my post. The dismissive tone isn’t helpful, so I’m going to end the conversation here. I feel belittled and dismissed by how this was handled, and that doesn’t feel respectful. 

My bad. I shouldve mentioned thats also how I judge someone being nice or not. Through the idea of Common decency

If you are simply asking for real world examples of someone being nice, like saying something nice or doing something nice, i`m not really sure why you need those from me

the example you used about taking your shoes off is pretty ridiculous and your concept of someone being nice or not seems weak [removed by mod]. Try chatgpt for whatever it is you are trying to get from this

I do not understand your last message. I was hoping to understand what your understanding of nice is, not most people's. For example, you might think taking your shoes off before entering the supermarket is considered nice. A few examples would have been helpful.

FitMisfit said:

Is common decency subjective as well? 

This appears to be a question.

I am grateful you tried to answer my question. I am sad I did not realise that a question was your answer at the time.

I’d like to stay focused on the idea of being 'nice' since that’s what I was trying to understand about your messages. How would you describe what being nice means to you? 

If this is an uncomfortable question for you, I respect that.