Self-diagnosing in my mid 30s

Thank you! Sometimes that in itself helps a lot!

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope things improve for you soon. I've got no helpful advice to give unfortunately, but be kind to yourself. ️

I think you might have a good chance then, fingers crossed for you!  

I did start a new job in September, but I think I rushed into it. I've already hit exhaustion nearly immediately, and been a bit of a wreck. I am already trying to not quit again, but the tiredness is quite pervasive.

Oh god I relate to the panic quitting - before this job I left every other job I've ever had in less than a year usually in a split second decision without sorting out a new job first! I hope you manage to find something that suits you soon, or if you already have, that youre enjoying it! 

I'm am in England... I'm  a bit clueless on right to choose atm - I've got no idea what providers are reputable, wait times etc. Hopefully I can get a little more insight next week!

I did, I think the fact I'd quit my job due to the stress might have helped sway it, but just 2 weeks worth as he said they can be addictive and was told either take them for the 2 weeks to try reset my system or just one when I needed it.

I did the latter, just using one when the lack of sleep is getting too much (I still have nearly half as I was then a bit fearful to use them). They aren't a miracle, but can get me more like 6+ hours rather than 3-4 I've been getting all year. They helped when we were on holiday too, as I don't normally sleep at all before going away, and then can't sleep at all or well in different places. 

I got sleep loops recently and they have really helped, as now I don't get woken up by my husband breathing in the night (I'm a light sleeper too due to sensitive hearing). Still only 3-4 hours at a time though.

Did they give you sleeping pills?

I begged them for some 4 years ago as I couldn't sleep. They refused and told me to look at a website. I said I just wanted to be able to sleep for a couple of nights.

NHS policy seems to be to not prescribe them as they think they do more harm than good.

I haven't slept well for 40 years.

I think everyone else here has pretty much covered it for Dr advice with bringing notes, someone else if you need it.

I myself was in a similar situation this year, I got in such a state I quit my job (well they asked to have a chat, and I panic quit instead as the exhaustion and anxiety were too much). 

I went private for the diagnosis, as I couldn't bring myself to talk to the GP (though I did ask them for sleeping pills, while talking to the wall to avoid eye contact and wringing my hands furiously -I can see the signs now!).  Only after did I find out about autism and decided I needed to sort myself out. I'm due my report next week. 

If you are in England, I think you have Right to choose and the GP might just refer you to a specialist. If you are in another part of the UK, it's a lot harder, my region don't have any adult services at all. I don't know about other countries!

Wishing you luck, peace and quiet, and getting the answers you need.

I think I'm at the beginning of a very similar path! I've been trawling through websites and this forum today. I've got myself out a new notebook (and there's nothing more exhilarating than a fresh notebook) to make note of things I want to talk about with the GP, and also my employer when I return to work. 

I feel like I used to feel when it was time to do a school project. Always used to be WW2 for me, only recently realised how fixated on it I was. Didn't matter what subject it was I always found a way to link it haha. 

I'm excited to learn about who I am.

I have spent hundreds of hours thinking and analysing myself over the last few months. I have reams of output.  Basically I did what I should have done decades ago but was too scared to and didn't have the data for - I made myself a special interest and have forensically analysed everything. It is still a work in progress but I have discovered a lot and have been sharing some of my major items here.

I questioned every thought and action I do, to see where they come from. Anything new or unexpected gets jumped on. I have looked at and monitored how I think very closely. It seems most people can't do this. The way my mind works is not typical.

I have some more ideas I may share too.

Hi Stuart

Everything you said resonated with me so much. I'd heard of burning out just as a general phrase when you're overloaded at work, but before yesterday I'd never heard of autistic burnout. I assumed all my stress was work related pressure but actually, having this last week off work made me realise that was such a small factor. Just not having to make the effort to socialise 'correctly' or professionally has felt like such a huge relief. Not having to smile at everyone, make eye contact, following rules that don't make sense to me, feign enthusiasm for things I don't care about... I didnt realise just how exhausting pretending to be like everyone else was. 

I'm reaching a point after a week now, where I think I needed this because now I'm recharging, and planning ahead for how to avoid this again! I'm so much more aware of myself and my needs than I was 10 years ago and I think this time I might be ready to advocate for myself.

You sound so self-aware and pro-active in your journey. Thank you for sharing, it really is inspiring to me.

Emma

Hi Prof!

Super stressful job, but so rewarding. The highs are high and the lows are lows for sure. I'm glad you're finding a way to make things work for you right now!

Thanks for sharing your story <3

If you overload yourself, don't allow enough rest, put yourself under too much pressure, mask too much, you get burnout or get close to it. You become more emotional, executive function problems occur, you are more tired, withdraw, start finding work too much, want to be on you own, can have dysfunctional thinking and cognitive distortions. If you ignore it too much it takes months, best part of a year, to get back out.

I pushed too hard 4 years ago, the disruption of routines and removal of all normal life, plus the self imposed pressure of trying to carry on work like normal during COVID, caused a major problem. I ended up in a mess crying in front of the GP. It went nowhere, because I diminish my issues. They didn't even think I was depressed.

So I sympathise with your GP response. I have had other GP issues that nearly killed me, caused me to require physio, gave me finger problems, etc.i don't present typically.

It happened again last Christmas after 3 years of too much pressure. I did not know what was wrong with me. It seemed a bit like depression but wasn't. I went to a counsellor, then realised I needed something more, went to a clinical psychologist, who after 4 sessions convinced me it was ASD, then got a formal diagnosis from a consultant clinical psychologist, all private. I am currently talking to a counsellor who is experienced in trauma and ASD to help with expressing emotions, a consequence of emotional neglect, and have found poetry to be a very good vehicle to help me reconnect myself. Being vulnerable in person is hard though, even though I can write good emotions.

I am fortunate as I have money, mostly because I prioritised it over having a life (a mal-adapted coping mechanism). Nothing would have happened if I had not paid for it. I masked too heavily.

The reason to know if it is burnout v depression is the cures are opposites. One requires alone time, one requires socialising. Burnout requires rest, and reduced stimulation and stress, to allow your nervous system to reset.

The biggest thing you can do is be kind to yourself. Slow down, do less, allow yourself to do less - don't feel guilty. Remove the pressure you put yourself under to keep going. Tell yourself you are doing your best and it's ok.

Your AQ-50 results should get their attention. 32 and above is clinically significant.

Make a note of your problems, in particular the fact it is interfering with work.

Good luck.

Good morning from America, Emma90!

I also work with people with disabilities as well, so I can understand how stressful that can get. I help people with disabilities find employment. I’ve been diagnosed with ASD, ADHD, general anxiety, and depression. Not the greatest mix for a job like this, but I’m managing as of now.

When it comes to visiting your GP I say Olivia Mod nailed it with writing notes ahead of time and possibly bringing a chaperone. Also consider that awareness and research into Autism has changed significantly in the last ten years, so there’s a good chance that you will have a better experience with your upcoming appointment.

emma90 said:

I'd love to hear people's pro-active and positive stories about reaching out to someone.

I was primarily the biggest advocate for myself to get a diagnosis in ASD. There was a therapist who helped me get in touch with a psychiatrist, but even she wasn’t so sure about whether I fit the diagnosis. Once I got the diagnosis my family and friends around me began to recognize the signs and understood me a little better. I was also able to find an art therapist that specialized in Autism soon afterwards, so that was another positive that came out of it.

Hi Olivia

I honestly feel more seen here already than I ever have before. 

Thank you for the links - I think I definitely will take some notes/prompts with me so I can say, or show him everything I need to. 

Dear emma90,

Welcome to the online community! I can see that you have already had a lovely response from one of our community, I hope this helps you feel welcome here.

I am sorry to hear about your experience with seeing the GP, I can imagine that was very difficult for you. I hope that your next experience is much more positive, if you feel like you need or want to you can ask to take a chaperone or friend to an appointment. 

Some people do find it helpful to write notes ahead of seeing a GP- its a method I use ahead of appointments!

I have also linked some of our advice and guidance pages that you may find helpful:

Before diagnosis

About autism

Anxiety

Warmest wishes,

Olivia Mod

Hi Lotus 

Thanks for replying. :) I have taken the AQ50 and scored 36. I will be seeing a new GP at a new surgery... and I really hope that after a decade I'll be meeting someone who's a little more understanding! 

I've been scrolling through the forum and it is so comforting to read about things that other people are dealing with and find it so relatable. 

Hi and welcome to the community. When I realised that I was on the spectrum, the best support I had was from other autistic adults on this forum, so In reaching out to us I hope you feel that we help you. Knowing that others are going through, or have been through, the same thing can be a comfort.

Have you taken the AQ50 autism test? If not, I suggest you do that.

https://embrace-autism.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/

Then I would make an appointment to see a doctor - I would ask if you can see a different one to the GP you saw previously. If you have scored high on the AQ50, show your doctor the results. Even if you do not score high on the test, it's important that you speak to a medical professional about how you are feeling. I know it's difficult to talk to people when you're feeling burnt out, but try to explain to them that you really cannot cope with anything at the moment, so that you get the help you need.

Take care of yourself and ask us anything. Hope you feel better soon.