Self-diagnosing in my mid 30s

Hi

I'm new to the community - I've been working with children and young adults on the spectrum now for about 8 years and year on year I feel like I've realised that I'm probably on the spectrum myself amd have been masking for as long as I can remember. I've recently had a bit of an emotional breakdown at work and I can't bring myself to go back in. I've tried to articulate what's been going on to my employer, but when I'm upset and anxious I don't think I do a very good job of it! It's taken all my energy to book an appointment with my GP in relation to my anxiety but I'm terrified of trying to explain to them how I'm feeling too. I had a similar issue about 10 years ago where everything just got to be too much. I couldn't leave the house, couldn't bring myself to do my own basic care. Eventually I saw my GP at the time who was totally dismissive of everything I said and told me I 'just need to get out the house, get a hobby and see some friends'. Which is the polar opposite of what my brain and body want to do even on a good day. That's stuck with me ever since when I've wanted to reach out for support because I tell myself that everyone will just dismiss me again. 

I just wondered what other people's experiences have been like when trying to get support. In regards to seeking an autism diagnosis or support with anxiety or depression. Should I be preparing what I need to tell my GP so I don't get flustered and forget everything? 

I think I just want to know I'm not alone in being totally terrified of the world right now! I'd love to hear people's pro-active and positive stories about reaching out to someone. :) 

Parents
  • Hi and welcome to the community. When I realised that I was on the spectrum, the best support I had was from other autistic adults on this forum, so In reaching out to us I hope you feel that we help you. Knowing that others are going through, or have been through, the same thing can be a comfort.

    Have you taken the AQ50 autism test? If not, I suggest you do that.

    https://embrace-autism.com/autism-spectrum-quotient/

    Then I would make an appointment to see a doctor - I would ask if you can see a different one to the GP you saw previously. If you have scored high on the AQ50, show your doctor the results. Even if you do not score high on the test, it's important that you speak to a medical professional about how you are feeling. I know it's difficult to talk to people when you're feeling burnt out, but try to explain to them that you really cannot cope with anything at the moment, so that you get the help you need.

    Take care of yourself and ask us anything. Hope you feel better soon.

  • Hi Lotus 

    Thanks for replying. :) I have taken the AQ50 and scored 36. I will be seeing a new GP at a new surgery... and I really hope that after a decade I'll be meeting someone who's a little more understanding! 

    I've been scrolling through the forum and it is so comforting to read about things that other people are dealing with and find it so relatable. 

Reply
  • Hi Lotus 

    Thanks for replying. :) I have taken the AQ50 and scored 36. I will be seeing a new GP at a new surgery... and I really hope that after a decade I'll be meeting someone who's a little more understanding! 

    I've been scrolling through the forum and it is so comforting to read about things that other people are dealing with and find it so relatable. 

Children
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